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Marriage to a Japanese woman

smiceo

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Hi, first time here. I have a question and I hope that you all can answer.
I would like to marry a Japanese woman and learn all bout the Japanese culture. Where is the best place to do so for marrying and learning of the culture?

If you are japanese and have been to the US please let me know and tell of your experience(s). If I can find a suitable place for courtship that would make my life..... all the better.

Thanks in advance for your time and effort.
 

jieshi

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lol well i would suggest moving to japan lol. no better place to learn than the country itself.
 

Kinsao

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Hi

I really don't want to sound offensive... but I'm curious why you so badly want to marry a Japanese woman as opposed to any other nationality. I mean, no reason why not of course, but... It's just that to say you want to marry specifically Japanese woman sounds kind of like you would only be interested in her because she's Japanese.

I'm assuming that, of course, you'd meet a lady you actually *love* and get to know her as a person and all that malarkey... I'm not trying to be insulting but just to say as a kind of warning not to fall into the trap of getting obsessed with finding a Japanese woman. Like any nationality, you find some attractive, some not attractive... OK, so maybe you are attracted to particularly women who have Japanese appearance (i.e. black hair, petite figure etc.) or maybe you're attracted to what you would consider a 'typical' Japanese type of personality (whatever that might be!), but I'm sure you soon find that these are only stereotypes and, as everywhere in the world, you end up relating to people as individuals, with culture, nationality and appearance taking a back seat.

I hope I've made sense. :p I think I was trying to say: don't get too bugged with certain expectations.

And I wish you good luck and hope you find a lovely wife! :) Just keep in mind that no-one wants to be attractive *just* because they are a certain nationality 🍜
 

kirei_na_me

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I agree, Kinsao.

Go to the country or read about it first, instead of marrying someone to find out about it. Intercultural marriages are not as fascinating and fun as they might appear to be. They're hard work. :eek:
 

Mike Cash

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If you think you're going to get somebody in a kimono who will give you back massages by trodding on you with her dainty feet, you've watched too many postwar black and white movies.
 

Jent

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Okay smiceo, so everyone has expressed why they think it's a bad idea, so tell us why you want to marry specifically a Japanese girl and what not.
 

Mike Cash

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If he wanted advice about marrying a specific Japanese girl rather than wanting advice about marrying specifically a Japanese girl, I think he'd get a lot more help and understanding.
 

jieshi

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mikecash said:
If he wanted advice about marrying a specific Japanese girl rather than wanting advice about marrying specifically a Japanese girl, I think he'd get a lot more help and understanding.

and mikecash yelled from the pulpit "can i here an amen??" and most of the jref users screamed out "amen!!!!"

lol not trying to be rude smiceo but we have been through this particular topic alot. I think you may also find the "if your looking for love stay at home" thread helpful because this topic is discussed in som depth there.

hope that helps :)
 

Jent

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I always thought when you would only date a person from a specific race or nationality, that was a little racist. I really think that you want to date a girl from Japan because you've got an image in your head that you think all Japanese look like. But, sincerely, I don't think that is the case. Everyone is a unique individual, and although Japan is a homogeneous country, their is diversity among the people themselves. Doesn't everyone have a different personality? I'm really not trying to come off as rude, but you haven't explained yourself, so in my head, I'm trying to rationalize why you would think that way... but it ends up just going back to the way that I think.
So please, just give an explanation for why you would state that you want to "marry a Japanese woman" and thus by doing that "learn all about Japanese culture".
 

budd

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"Intercultural marriages are not as fascinating and fun as they might appear to be. They're hard work."
i think this should just flash on newbies' computer repeatedly in BIG RED LETTERS if they type "japanese" and "woman/girl" in the same sentence
how facist of me to say it, but i'm tired, man...

"So please, just give an explanation for why you would state that you want to "marry a Japanese woman" and thus by doing that "learn all about Japanese culture"."
he only got three posts. anybody taking bets to see if he come back and do it?
 

kirei_na_me

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budd said:
"So please, just give an explanation for why you would state that you want to "marry a Japanese woman" and thus by doing that "learn all about Japanese culture"."
he only got three posts. anybody taking bets to see if he come back and do it?

I was thinking the exact same thing.
 

Rich303

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These comments are all fair enough, but it does work both ways.
I've just returned from visiting my pen pal in Japan (It was great), and she loves English men. Not American, Spanish, French etc but English.
I am guilty of the same selectiveness (I love Japanese women), but this is an opinion I've gradually arrived at through becoming fed up with the girls available to me in the UK.
I'm not ugly, I'm 6' 2'',I work for NHK - but I don't wear a suit and I have a London accent, which a classy UK girl might find off-putting, and I want a classy girl!
Not one of the fat,track suit wearing beasts that populate my local area.
If you have heard of 'Chavs' in the UK you will know what I mean. It's not just about looks, I don't want a girl with a filthy mouth and no manners

Even though the original post might be a little naive, I don't think we should be so critical, and I don't think it's racist. I've been out with a few different types of ladies(although I'm no Cassanova) and I just happen to think that Japanese girls are lovely.
 

Damicci

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kirei_na_me said:
Wow, these types never cease to amaze me... :eek:

I am not amazed anymore. From being on this forum I have seen about as much as I think i will ever see. People like what they like. It's like apple jacks they don't taste like apples. Japanese women they don't taste like japanese. O_O ☝

Yeah so people like what they like.
 

Duo

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Rich303 said:
These comments are all fair enough, but it does work both ways.
I've just returned from visiting my pen pal in Japan (It was great), and she loves English men. Not American, Spanish, French etc but English.
I am guilty of the same selectiveness (I love Japanese women), but this is an opinion I've gradually arrived at through becoming fed up with the girls available to me in the UK.
I'm not ugly, I'm 6' 2'',I work for NHK - but I don't wear a suit and I have a London accent, which a classy UK girl might find off-putting, and I want a classy girl!
Not one of the fat,track suit wearing beasts that populate my local area.
If you have heard of 'Chavs' in the UK you will know what I mean. It's not just about looks, I don't want a girl with a filthy mouth and no manners

Even though the original post might be a little naive, I don't think we should be so critical, and I don't think it's racist. I've been out with a few different types of ladies(although I'm no Cassanova) and I just happen to think that Japanese girls are lovely.

Ahhh, you're one of those preserve the culture anti-chavs people. I seeeeee, well it seems to me that actually Japanese girls are pretty chav themselves, all into popular culture, brand labels, and other such popular culture behavior that in England is considered Chav; don't be fooled, they are from a different country, not a different planet ;)
 

Rich303

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Ahhh,There is more to being a chav than what you wear. I seeeee

Coming from an area where many of these people live, I have every right to be 'anti-chav' as you put it Duo.
It's not a fashion to hate chavs. If you have been spat at or robbed or listenened to these people give foreigners false directions when they are lost, you might understand.

I saw Harajuko girls,or whatever they are called(with their strange brown make-up) in Tokyo - they seemed a bit chavvy.
But my friend is one of the most graceful,elegant girls I have ever met.

Chav is as much about behaviour as appearance.
Please don't put me in the category of some trendy chav-hater. My opinion is based on true experience of these scumbags...peace - Rich
 

Duo

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I think they are called Ganguro girls, if I'm not wrong. I'm sure ur friend is cute and elegant, no offense to her or antything, but it seems to me that from behaviour and fashion a lotta of Japanese girls, at least the younger generation seem chav-- whatever that entails-- i don't judge ppl on this term btw, im just using it for context. Like multiple sexual partners for example, i hear that this is a notorious problem there, some others work in hostess bars, others do whatever, I don't think you can judge the lot of them just based on your friend. Just because she is so good it doesnt mean that the rest are like that. There is good and bad, deep and shallow, like in every other country. All I'm saying is that you'll find your share of chav girls in Japan as well.
 

TheKansaiKid

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The Cart before the Horse.

I only dated girls from 3 nationalities, Japanese Korean, and American. This was not a conscious decision, these just happened to be the nationalities of women who came into my circle of contact. My father who was opposed to me marrying someone outside my own nationality said: "you marry who you date..... marriage is hard enough when married to someone that already shares many cultural things in common with you. Why would you go out of your way to cause yourself even more trouble." Faced with such undeniably logical advice I married a very wonderful woman who also happens to be Japanese. We have 3 daughters, and have been married for 15 years and barring unforseen events (I'm thinking mainly of death here) I plan to be married to her for at least 40 more years. My point being: can international marriages work? yes. Is it easy? not always.

But to marry someone BECAUSE they are Japanese seems kind of foolish. If you have a genuine interest in Japanese culture buy a book or take a trip or both. Many stereotypes of Japanese women can seem attractive, but like most stereotypes they are at best exaggerated and at worst downright falsehoods.

If while trying to learn about Japanese culture you happen to meet a woman, and if she happens to have a lot in common with you, and if you happen to fall in love with her, and if you happen to marry her I wish you all the good fortune in the world.
 

Jent

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Rich: Harajuku girls to the left and ganguros to the right.
 

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Rich303

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Cheers Jent. That's what I meant.
What do they think they look like?! The ganguros are quite chavvy with their brown make-up and that. Kind of like extreme chavettes. Japan always seems to takes things that bit further. Nice one!
 

misa.j

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Jent, those are some interesting pictures.
See, first two kind of have a concept in how they are dressed. Being in the fantasy world, and I even think they are brave.
Those clowns in the third and the forth pics are just the followers, luck of originality and should be put in the same room as others who dress just like them.

Sorry, this is off topic.
 

Jent

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misa.j said:
Jent, those are some interesting pictures.
See, first two kind of have a concept in how they are dressed. Being in the fantasy world, and I even think they are brave.
Those clowns in the third and the forth pics are just the followers, luck of originality and should be put in the same room as others who dress just like them.

Sorry, this is off topic.


Sorry! 😌 I just thought I would give a visual reference of the difference.
 

Rich303

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Misa.J, you are right.

The first 2 look quite interesting to me.
They are a bit like 'Goths' in UK but not as grungy looking. The girl in the 2nd picture is actually quite cute. Goths in UK wear mainly black,but the make-up is similar,and the references to clothes of the past too.
I saw a few girls like these in Tokyo - is this the 'gothic lolita' look?

In UK, Goths hate Chavs and Chavs hate Goths, but I am neither so I'm OK! - but I don't like Chavs!...Rich
 

misa.j

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Jent said:
Sorry! I just thought I would give a visual reference of the difference.
Don't be sorry, Jent. Hey, I liked the fact you posted those pictures, it shows a big part of Japanese pop culture that I couldn't quite understand. It's always interesting for me to hear how it's viewed by people from other culture.
I was saying sorry for commenting on those pictures and leading the thread to a different direction, nothing against your post. :)
 

dreamer

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Hahaha to tell the truth asian culture scares the h*** outta me >_<
 
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