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japanese ppl* (less affectionate?)

stephanie

後輩
22 Nov 2003
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recently i was dating this japanese guy. we broke up recently *sniff sniff* i came over a thread when i was browsing thru the archives and sum1 had sed that japanese people are less affectionate. how mani of u found this is true?! i haveta admit its kind of true. he would never reallie say "i love you" even though i'd always say it to him. (it came naturally to me) n he thought i was rather "whiney and insecure" but thats because he treated me like a friend and wasn't "affectionate" are there any affectionate jap guys out there?!?! XD
 
*sigh* it's really hard to generalise Stephanie. I guess J-men are a little less affectionate than say passionate Italian men - but that's a stereotype too....
I am married to a lovely J-man who is very loving and affectionate, especially in private. pda is still difficult in Japan(it's a cultural thing), in my home country New Zealand he was fine.
but, I haven't dated many J-men so I can't really make a general comment on this subject, sorry. maybe some other women here can.

I'm really sorry things didn't work out with your ex-J-boyfriend. I guess men are men - I can think of many Kiwi guys who would rather sit in front of the TV watching rugby and drinking beer than snuggle!! :p
 
umm well i dont know about japanese men ! but it certainly not japanese women, i know alot and all of them are so very nice, and say i love you more than me !
 
In all honesty I wouldn't want to date someone who saying I love you came 'naturally' either so I can sort of understand where he may be coming from.
 
I think it just depends on the person. In my opinion it seems men behave more or less the same the world over. Men will be men.
But I must say I prefer the Japanese, everytime I've gone out with my Japanese friends, there is always a man who will insist on walking you home, or waiting at the bustop with you, just to make sure that you get home safely, even if they don't even know you.They are just curteous. (OK, so maybe they might think we are weak and too vunerable to get home by ourselves, but I think it's nice. How many English guys would do the same for us? - Hmmm.... no comment.)
I must admit, I have had one Japanese boyfriend, he was ever so romantic, taking me to dinner, movies, buying me gifts, etc....
but also he could be arrogant, and childish. I think he loved himself more. Although he did say "I love you" all the time..... so it didn't seem genuine, then he would complain if I didn't say it back-( that was on our 2nd date, and I was like "I've only just met you") We broke up because his host family thought seeing me would interfere with his studying, and they also thought he was spending too much money. Then he said we could still be friends.Then he wanted me to be his girlfriend again, but then he thought it would be easier to get me out of his mind, if he stopped contact with me altogether.
Oh, sorry, I seem to have gone on a bit........
Anyway, everyone has a different personality, so you can't really judge a whole race on a bad experiance with one person. But my personal opinion is that most Japanese men are really considerate and caring.
You'll find the right person, though you might meet a few wrong ones along the way.You'll get there in the end.
Ganbatte!🌹
 
*sigh* I've already posted pretty much what I think about this whole subject in general and my comments can be summed up in the following thread (if anyone's interested):

Japanese girls & white guys - white girls & japanese guys

Sakura:

"In my opinion it seems men behave more or less the same the world over. Men will be men."

And how exactly do we behave? You follow that statement later on by saying...

"Anyway, everyone has a different personality, so you can't really judge a whole race on a bad experiance with one person."

Don't be so quick to judge an entire gender based on one either... Not all of us men are dogs ya know. 8-p
:)
 
Although one thing that is safe to say that being introverted, shy and withdrawn in Japan is not at all atypical for various cultural and demographic reasons and that privacy, personal space, distance etc seems to be a rather scarce and much treasured commodity for men and women. Which may express itself very differently when with foreigners or not. Discussing from personal anecdotes always goes nowhere, but these sorts of cultural differences with Westerners are obvious to anyone who has made even a stopover in the country. Which should be a minimum standard to post here imao :).
 
Iron Chef: sorry i don't mean to offend anyone, and if i contradict myself, it's because i don't know what I'm saying half the time, lol. *pleads temporary insanity"
I just mean from a woman's perspective, men behave like men, no matter where they are from, it's just genetic makeup (or something), but not all men are the same, (there are exceptions),but we don't understand them anymore than they can understand the complex world of a woman, hehe , lol (^_~)
no offence intended. lets just settle at, neither of the genders can understand the mysteries of the other.
*smiles sweetly and tries the innocent puppy dog eyes look* lol
 
Sakura: As the resident "Know-it-nothing" I suggest that you avoid taking the path that leads to the abyss of all knowledge, and limit yourself to start knowing more of what you are saying, or you'll end up like me, and know nothing at all! :D
Like IC (Iron Chef) said, "men are men." Boyz B Ambitious and all that sort of rot that they keep preaching in the J-schools, along with other helpful engrish sentences, like "This is a pen."
If you're going to ramble nonsense, do it in style! :D
As far as the typical Japanese person, in public they'll most likely go with the flow, but in private, they may have other opinions...I guess it's the "Nail that sticks out gets pounded down" syndrome that keeps most J-guys from being overly rambunctious, aside from the individuals that are shown to be insane in the newz.. :p

and remember, I am know nothing :D Don't copy me! :D
 
I'm not even going to touch this, although it does tempt me. I will say that I agree with Elizabeth, though... :p
 
yeah but those japanese men that would actually date white women or non-japanese can't really be your typical japanese, can they?
 
I think a lot of what people are talking about are Japanese overseas, but then again most Americans in Japan probably can't be considered "typical" either (even the military ones ;)). And depending on where you are in the country there can be a very real cache to being seen with a Westerner, perhaps as long as it doesn't go too deep, or a tremendous amount of resistance. Really just too many things to consider....which may be one reason this topic keeps multiplying in popularity :D.
 
Originally posted by Elizabeth
personal space, distance etc seems to be a rather scarce and much treasured commodity for men and women.

For men and women everywhere in the world, not just Japan. ^^;
 
Originally posted by Kami
For men and women everywhere in the world, not just Japan. ^^;
Yes of course, but living on an island 1/25th the size of the US with half the population (70% along the Pacific coast from Tokyo to Kyushuu) opens up vast gulfs in mentality and ways of looking at the world.
 
Originally posted by Elizabeth
Yes of course, but living in some place 1/25th the size of the US with half the population (70% along the Pacific coast from Tokyo to Kyushuu) opens up vast gulfs in mentality and ways of looking at the world.

Exactly.
 
i wouldnt say less afectionated they just show it less
they prefer think if it s really true before say it like many poeple
it s not japaneese poeple who s like that but some poeple
it s not because u don t say a thing that u don t think it
 
I "rub" you !!

In 2 years of communal living with Japanese friends I witnessed so many loving moments between then. I can see no difference between their love other then it was done in privacy instead of in public. If anything, the closeness between same-sex friends was much closer. Homaphobia didn't seem to be a problem. I watched men set with their arms around each other and even dance togeather as well as women. Watching Japanese men interacting with babies showed how loving they can be also. I think the Japanese people have a soul that is much more gentle then most people will ever know.

Frank
 
Originally posted by Sakura
Iron Chef: sorry i don't mean to offend anyone, and if i contradict myself, it's because i don't know what I'm saying half the time, lol. *pleads temporary insanity"
I just mean from a woman's perspective, men behave like men, no matter where they are from, it's just genetic makeup (or something), but not all men are the same, (there are exceptions),but we don't understand them anymore than they can understand the complex world of a woman, hehe , lol (^_~)
no offence intended. lets just settle at, neither of the genders can understand the mysteries of the other.
*smiles sweetly and tries the innocent puppy dog eyes look* lol

I'm English !!!! i'd make sure you get home safely or wait with at the bus stop !!!! no, honestly i would !!!! =D Yea i got to admit alot of english guys dont bother but i certainly would do !!!
 
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