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Japanese joke

Monogatari

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Can anyone explain to me why this joke doesn't work in Japanese? I'd like to retune it to Japanese humor.
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Junen computer kaisha de hataraita ato Tanaka-san wa kaisha wo yameru koto ni shita.
Kare wa shigoto wo yame Okinawa he tatta.
Kare wa soko ga kiniitta. Shinbun mo rajio mo telebi mo nai. Tsuridake. Nante odayaka darou.
Soshite, rokkagetsu go no aru yoru, kare wa darekaga dao wo tataku no wo kiita.
Sokoniwa higewo hayashita ookina sumotori ga tattei ta.
“Akira desu. Konohen no mono desu. Paatii ni sasoi ni kimashita.”
Tanaka-san wa omotta, ‘Yoshi, gimoto no hito ni au iikikai da’. “Hai! Ikimasu yo.”
Akira wa itta, “Iitte okuto…nondakure ga ooinda.”
Tanaka wa itta, “Boku wa Tokyo kara kitan desuyo. Nomiya no Mekka ja naidesu.”
Akira: “Mou hitotu…yatura kenka wo hazimeru kamoshirenai.”
Tanaka: “Tokyo kara kitemasu kara, daijoubu desu. Dou sureba iika wa wakatte masuyo.”
Akira: “Mou hitotu…sexu hajimechaukamo shirenaikedo.”
Tanaka: “Daijoubu desu. Narete masukara.”
Akira: “Jaa, junbi shitekure. Ore wa koko de matuyo.”
Tanaka: “Nani wo kiteikeba iideshouka. Aratamatta mono desuka, soretomo kiraku na mono desuka”
Akira: “Nandemo iiyo. Boku ra dake dakara.”
 

NANGI

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Konnichiwa Monogatari-san!

Don't work? I think this joke is good!👍

And I correct a part "Nomiya no Mekka ja naidesu". It is "Nomiya no Mekka ja naidesu ka" correctly.

NANGI
 

Monogatari

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Konnichiwa NANGI-san

Thanks for the correction.
Though I'm relatively new to Japanese study, my pronunciation is actually quite good - my strongest point in fact.

As a Westerner, I've noticed that whenever I've told this Joke to Japanese nationals, they seemed to be not actually following the story, but were concentrating on listening to the accuracy of the pronunciation and the qualities of the translation. Hence, they never laughed yet still voiced approval.
Does this ring a bell?

Perhaps it's funnier when written down or when spoken by a Japanese person.

Mono
 

NANGI

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Konnichiwa Monogatari-san!

I think that other Japanese had not a sense of humor.:D

NANGI
 

mdchachi

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As a Westerner, I've noticed that whenever I've told this Joke to Japanese nationals, they seemed to be not actually following the story, but were concentrating on listening to the accuracy of the pronunciation and the qualities of the translation. Hence, they never laughed yet still voiced approval.
Does this ring a bell?

I think you're probably right on this. With the right delivery I'm sure it would get a laugh.
 

Monogatari

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Japanese Joke (Eng. Transl)

Here's the English translation for anyone who missed it.
Any other jokes out there?
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After 10 years in the computer business Mr. Tanaka decided he’d had enough.
He quit his job and moved to the Island of Okinawa.
He loved it, it was so peaceful; no newspaper, no radio, no television… just fishing.
Anyway, one night, after six month, he heard a knock on his door.
Standing there was a large, bearded sumo wrestler.
“My name is Akira. I am your neighbour. I’ve come to invite you to a party.”
Mr. Tanaka thought ‘great! a chance to meet some of the local people’, “Yes, I accept.”
Akira said: “I must warn you, there may be some heavy drinking.”
Tanaka said: “Hey, I’m from Tokyo, we’re the Mecca of drinking.”
AKIRA: “And I must warn you, there may be some fighting.”
TANAKA: “No problem, I’m from Tokyo, we know how to take care of ourselves.”
AKIRA: “And I must warn you, there may be some wild sex at this party.”
TANAKA: “Great, I’m always ready for some action.”
AKIRA: “Ok. You get ready and I’ll wait here.”
TANAKA: “But what shall I wear, is it formal or informal?”
AKIRA: “You can wear anything you like, it’ll just be the two of us.”
 
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