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japanese funny

Bounty Hunter

後輩
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hi all 🙂

here is a few jokes for you all.

An Australian man was sitting in his favorite restaurant when a Japanese bloke said to him, "I am sick of seeing your big round eyes."

The Australian replied, "Put on a blind fold."

The Japanese man asked, "Where do I get one?

The Australian then said, "Here take my shoe lace."


and another one.

How courteous is the Japanese;
He always says, "Excuse it, please."
He climbs into his neighbor's garden.
And smiles, and says, "I beg your pardon;"
He bows and grins a friendly grin,
And calls his hungry family in;
He grins, and bows a friendly bow;
"So sorry, this my garden now."


--Ogden Nash


and one more for now.

The Americans and the Japanese decided to engage in a competitive boat race. Both teams practiced hard and long to reach their peak performance.

On the big day they felt ready. The Japanese won by a mile. Afterward, the American team was discouraged by the loss. Morale sagged. Corporate management decided that the reason for the crushing defeat had to be found, so a consulting firm was hired to investigate the problem and recommended corrective action.

The consultant's finding: The Japanese team had eight people rowing and one person steering; the American team had one person rowing and eight people steering.

After a year of study and millions spent analyzing the problem, the consultant firm concluded that too many people were steering and not enough were rowing on the American team.

So as race day neared again the following year, the American team's management structure was completely reorganized. The new structure: four steering managers, three area steering managers and a new performance review system for the person rowing the boat to provide work incentive.

The next year, the Japanese won by two miles. Humiliated, the American corporation laid off the rower for poor performance and gave the managers a bonus for discovering the problem."


so some love and give some rep points.
 

TimF

Sempai
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lol (i needed to have this to make my post big enough lol)
 

Bounty Hunter

後輩
Joined
29 May 2004
Messages
533
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thanks tim. 👍

and heres some more for you all.

AND YET AGAIN SHOW SOME LOVE AND GIVE THE REP POINTS

A Japanese exchange student sat in a science classroom, totally stumped at a question on the final exam.

The question asked: "Give four advantages of breast milk."

What to write? He sighed, thinking he could not use personal experience. Suddenly, he smiled, remembering some things he has overheard his mother say. He wrote:

1. No need to boil.
2. Never goes sour.
3. Available whenever necessary.

He still needed a fourth answer. He tried to put himself in the place of a child, but that didn't work. Suddenly, he smiled again. He wrote as the final answer:

4. Available in attractive containers of varying sizes.

He sat back, considering how proud his friends would be for their genius friend who lived overseas.


and another

The Polish were upset because of their bad reputation. A group of them got together and approached a conference of Americans, Germans, and Japanese and asked for help on this matter. An American replied, "You must do something so the world will respect you. The Japanese are known for their technology and the Germans are known for their resourcefulness. We Americans have had respect since we helped win the World War against the other two. See, you need to do something world-famous." A German added," Yes, he's right. Why don't you find a place in this world in need of a bridge that no one has dared build, build it, come back to us, and we will help publicize it."

With that, the Polish set off to build their bridge. They designed it and worked 6 months and finally completed it. They then went back to report it to the group. The bridge was a beautiful bridge but it had one flaw: it was erected in the middle of the Sahara Desert. An American said, "No, no. See, that is why you have your reputation. There is no need for a bridge in the middle of the desert. Now go and dismantle it, and find a more strategic spot to erect it."

The Polish returned to the conference in two weeks. One of the Japanese said, "Two weeks! It only took you two weeks to dismantle that bridge and build a new one??? That is amazing!!" To which a Polish man replied, "Well, not exactly. When we returned to the bridge we couldn't dismantle it because there were all these Italians fishing off it."


and one more until someone else posts here.
 
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