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Is this right?

7 Sep 2006
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I'm making a story in Japanese. I want to see if I'm typing this right.
「あの世界(sekai)の為(tame)に僕(boku)は僕自身(bokujishin)を生(i)け 贄(nie)にする出来(deki)る!でも、問題(mondai)はこれは要(iru)るか ?」
"For the sake of that world, I can sacrifice myself! However, the problem
is, is that needed?"

これは僕(boku)の詞(kotoba)、戦(tataka)いの前(mae)でかった。 答(kota)えは「いいえ」かったよ。でも、まだ、悪(aku)がこの世界(sekai)に有(aru) る。
Those were my words, before the battle. The answer seemed to be "no".
However, evil still exists in this world.
 
By "typing it right", what exactly do you mean?

Are you asking if you're using the IME correctly? Or if your sentences are grammatically correct?
 
Allow me to just pick and choose a couple, if you will.

First, you shouldn't have two dictionary form verbs coming together (する出来る). You might want to consider the use of a "~してもいい" or some such to convey your meaning there.

Also, 問題s are nouns, so the explanation of what the the 問題 is must either be a noun or be a nominalized verb.

For 詞 you may find that 言葉 may fit better there. Also, and this is very important...I don't know where you're getting that でかった thing from. I presume you're trying for past tense and read somewhere that かった is a past tense suffix. If so...it is, but only on things where you drop -i and add -katta. It can't be broadly applied just anywhere you want a past tense. If you're looking for the past tense of です it is でした.
 
生け贄 sounds a tad scaring there, I would choose 犠牲(ぎせい). and 自分自身 instead of 僕自身. "is that needed" can be "is that needed or not" here and 必要(ひつよう) suits better than 要る, from my view. I have no idea what "that world" is, so just borrow your word,

「あの世界のために僕は自分自身を犠牲にすることができる。でも問題なのは、それが必要なのかどうかだ。」

"my words" has to be dug deeper here, both 詞 and 言葉 can be understood but still missing something. Can it be put into another way like "It was the question that I had before the battle"? Then it automatically leads "The answer........." phrase in Japanese as well. 有る must be 居る there, plus 存在している is recommended for story telling style. Let me put the last 2 lines together as it is ear easy to me :p

これが戦いの前に僕が持った疑問だった。答えは「ノー」のように思えたが、悪はまだ、確かにこの世に存在している。

I avoid using the same word twice, so I choose 世 for 世界, and add 確かに(surely) to make it very Japanese.
Anyway my translation seems a bit too novelistic, and sorry it doesn't help grammatically a lot.
 
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生け贄 sounds a tad scaring there, I would choose 犠牲(ぎせい). and 自分自身 instead of 僕自身. "is that needed" can be "is that needed or not" here and 必要(ひつよう) suits better than 要る, from my view. I have no idea what "that world" is, so just borrow your word,

「あの世界のために僕は自分自身を犠牲にすることができる。でも問題なのは、それが必要なのかどうかだ。」

"my words" has to be dug deeper here, both 詞 and 言葉 can be understood but still missing something. Can it be put into another way like "It was the question that I had before the battle"? Then it automatically leads "The answer........." phrase in Japanese as well. 有る must be 居る there, plus 存在している is recommended for story telling style. Let me put the last 2 lines together as it is ear easy to me :p

これが戦いの前に僕が持った疑問だった。答えは「ノー」のように思えたが、悪はまだ、確かにこの世に存在している。

I avoid using the same word twice, so I choose 世 for 世界, and add 確かに(surely) to make it very Japanese.
Anyway my translation seems a bit too novelistic, and sorry it doesn't help grammatically a lot.

Thanks, Umbaba and Mike! I think I get it now.

My Japanese grammar is horrible.

I'll have to remember the "koto ga dekiru", since I was the most unsure of it.
 
Thanks, Umbaba and Mike! I think I get it now.
My Japanese grammar is horrible.
ごめんなさい。僕の日本語が上手ではありませんね?

Unless this is a joke you may want to change it to read, correctly

ごめんなさい。僕の日本語は上手ではありません。
:p

「ことができる」という表現は日常的に良く使われているので覚えた方がいいと思いますね。
とても便利な言葉です。 😅
 
ごめんなさい。僕の日本語が上手ではありませんね?
Unless this is a joke you may want to change it to read, correctly
ごめんなさい。僕の日本語は上手ではありません。
:p

My bad. I'll do that.

「ことができる」という表現は日常的に良く使われているので覚えた方がいいと思いますね。
とても便利な言葉です。😌

Hmmm... I'm too lazy right now to translate it myself, so I used Google translator, and I think I get it now. I'll use "koto ga dekiru" instead of "dekiru" more.

ありがとうございます。(僕は漢字が好きではありません。)
 
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