What's new

Welcome to Japan Reference (JREF) - the community for all Things Japanese.

Join Today! It is fast, simple, and FREE!

internet love


Horizon Rider
8 May 2005
Reaction score
An interesting topic, thanks for bumping it back up, Frank! :joyful:

My view of the internet and relationships (that is any kind of relationships, whether it is friendship, romance, love and even enemyship! XD), is that the internet can be used to progress a relationship in a very similar way to how it happens in real life.

But it depends on the way you use it. I mean, some people can get kind of weird, and become extremely attached to someone they know only from the internet, in a short time, and never having met them for real.

In my view, it's important always to keep a sense of proportion and see the internet for what it is - a communication tool. :)

Via the internet, you can write with people who have similar interests to you, and in that way you can get to know people, and make some friends online - and of course, there is always the chance that one of your friends might become more than 'just a friend' but a love interest as well. ^^ In my view it's quite natural to 'meet' people in that way, even though you don't actually 'meet' in real.

But it's important, I think, to bear in mind if you haven't met someone in real, that they could be deceiving you about many things. I know it feels like you can get a good idea of someone's personality over the net, and honestly I think that's mostly the case (because to build up a whole 'false personality' is actually very difficult and takes lots of energy and consideration!), but it could be a sham and you can't know for real until you meet the person.

I think there's nothing at all wrong with using the internet to get to know people and make friends and communicate, but in the case of 'love' or some kind of romantic relationship, I say, don't think of a relationship at all like that until you have met the person in real (of course, once you met them, if you have a long-distance relationship the internet is good for keeping in touch ^^). It's not just a 'safety' thing that I say that, but rather, it's a 'normal' relationship to meet someone. It's honestly not healthy to get hung-up on a person you've never met in real. ☝ But like I say, to use the net to arrange to meet, that can be a useful thing! 👍


tsuyaku o tsukete kudasai
19 Jan 2005
Reaction score
I would laugh at you for being so satupid as to proclaim love for an intewrnet chat handle but I am as guilty as you.

I would say however that your not in love until you really meet, love is when the banshee of a girlfriend bugs the s*** out of you yet you still wanna hold her hand on a nice day.

My girlfriend has just informed me "Internet love is stupid" I tend to agree, as its been said, nice place to meet up and set things up but love tends to come with the face to face stuff (and possibly the prospect of sex feulling it, bwahahahaha!!!).

The internet is infinitely more useful in maintaining an existing relationship with the real-life component.

But yeah, dont say your like over the top in love and plan on marrying her as soon as you get there or anything, just go nowing your meeting a complete stranger for the first time and getting to know them.

Also I would advice high caution, as others have said many times over the years, the net is also easily abused, the folk who find luuuuuuuuuuuuv and stick with it are a distinct minority.

This club isnt big enough for the both of us, sorry. 😊

Seriously though, have fun, enjoy Japan, enjkoy her company but yeah, just be careful. 👍


Eight Times To Japan
18 Oct 2004
Reaction score
I tend to agree, as its been said, nice place to meet up and set things up but love tends to come with the face to face stuff (and possibly the prospect of sex feulling it, bwahahahaha!!!).
The internet is infinitely more useful in maintaining an existing relationship with the real-life component.

That's about it. Otherwise, it is like going on a blind date with a keyboard.


4 Nov 2003
Reaction score
I think it is possible but, yes face to face is the true identifier of true love. Like when I met Rieko we spoken so much that and seen each other so much for me it felt natural. And for her I think the same even though she was a bit shy at first.
But after the first kiss it was as if we were always together and had many times before. *sigh* When you meet it'll will tell you for sure if your really in love.


27 Aug 2006
Reaction score
I just met through internet a japanese lady around my age which is 40... well the japanese women do really act different depending on their ages, my japanese is beginner but I stayed 3 times in japan in the last 25 years and I can tell you it is easier for them to express their true feelings (as long they don't cheat you of course) by the internet.... Once the connextion is done you have got to go and meet her there one day no choice....
in all my past relationships the barrier came from the parents ; do they or don't they agree that their girl will be marrying her foreign man?? Ask her if their parents AGREE to your relationship and then you will know if you can go ahead or not.... good luck from Alain


6 Sep 2006
Reaction score
What do you people think about falling in love with someone you only know from the internet?
I'm asking this because I'm in that case now.
I've met a Japanese girl on the internet about a month ago and we can get along very well. We can talk about everything what's on our minds and we have a great time talking to each other. The last few days I felt very excited when I talked with her and before I knew it I realised that I had fallen in love with her. Before I did anything stupid I consulted one of my other Japanese friends and she told me that I should tell her how I feel. So that's what I did.
I wrote her a letter in which I explained to her how I felt. I got a reply this morning from her and she said she felt the same way about me, but she didn't want to tell me because she didn't have the confidence for it.
I have told her I love her and she told me she loves me too, so now I'm feeling very reliefed.
My question to you now is: Do you think it's foolish to fall in love with someone who you have never met before? Do you think it's realistic to love someone who lives so far away? I am going to Japan this summer to meet her in person, but it will be more than 3 months from now. So I was wondering about the difficulties to maintain a relationship with her until I can see her for real.
Do you have any thoughts on this? Please let me know...
I don't think you should get your hopes up too high. People have time to think about and plan what they will say on the internet. Your perception of this person might not be at all like the reality.The fact that you say you have fallen inlove with her suggests to me that you are building an image of her up in your head that may or may not corresspond to the reality and in my experience it rarely does.
You should at least talk to her a few times on the phone first before you meet her.If you still feel you want to meet her then you should go not expecting too much and see what happens. I have gone on dates with a few people from the internet and they did not turn out the way I wanted to. Thats life.
I hope you have other reasons for going to Japan other than meeting this person. It is a long trip and a lot of money for someone you have never met.


Psycho-Genius Otaku
19 Jan 2006
Reaction score
I am in an internet relationship right now too,we talk on the phone everyday and we met for the first time over labor day weekend,we didn`t talk much because we had already talked about pretty much everything and as Damicci said it did feel natural,like you had always been together.It was very hard to let him go back to where he lived(I live in Oklahoma,he lives in Illinois),but I had a wonderful time.


15 Aug 2003
Reaction score
Reminds me of the adds I've seen when going to my colleague's place...
it was saying to be careful who you were going to meet and featured a man with a little girl's mask...
really freaky when you think about it...but still, I think that it might be good to see each other if you've known the person for a long time...
Top Bottom