What's new

Welcome to Japan Reference (JREF) - the community for all Things Japanese.

Join Today! It is fast, simple, and FREE!

i'm hurt , lost and confused

Dream Time

Sempai
Joined
20 Jul 2003
Messages
1,174
Reaction score
24
i have a relative in san francisco,
i have feelings for her [we are not blood related], she only looks at me as a friend
my brother has feelings for her, of course he didn't tell me, but i can feel it, he has a girlfriend, and the relative had a boyfriend during the thing happened.
yesterday,i accidentally read their msn message history...
and i found that, in Novemeber when she was here for visit, she got drunk, my brother did something to her, and she reacted, i don't know how far they went, they probably kissed and touched, i don't know if they went on to do something further? i just don't know, i don't want to imagine...
she said they can't do it and it should not happen again,
i don't know if they are having some sort of relationship.
i don't know whether should i pretend i don't know anything?
or just stop talking to her without telling her that i know it,and just forget about her and never see her anymore?
i really like her, i really do, just that does not mean i have to be with her, shes always a very nice girl in my heart, or maybe i'm wrong? maybe i don't know her enough.
i don't want to talk to my brother anymore, i don't even want to look at him,
the only thing i know is that i'm not gonna tell my bro's girlfriend about it....
 

RockLee

Hullu
Joined
22 Apr 2004
Messages
3,568
Reaction score
130
ohhh...that's a bad situation you're in :unsure: , but sqeeling on the girls BF is maybe not good...just tell u'r brother about it and ask how things are!!
 

Dream Time

Sempai
Joined
20 Jul 2003
Messages
1,174
Reaction score
24
RockLee said:
ohhh...that's a bad situation you're in :unsure: , but sqeeling on the girls BF is maybe not good...just tell u'r brother about it and ask how things are!!


i don't think i could talk to my brother about it, he wants to hide it, and we are not very close, we don't talk about personal issues to each other

i'm not gonna tell anyone about it, either my brother's girlfriend, or my relative's ex-boyfriend [and i don't know him in person anyways]
because if i do, it could cause lots of problems
problems between my brother and his girlfriend, problems between my brother and me, problems between me and the relative...etc...
 

Uncle Frank

SECURITY
Admin
Joined
21 May 2003
Messages
11,456
Reaction score
1,360
You Have Only One Chance!

Get one of those memory eracers like in "Men In Black"! Sneaking & spying always lead to "BadThings"! No "Slam Dunk" solution to this problem?

Frank

😊
 

Elizabeth

先輩
Joined
22 Apr 2003
Messages
9,525
Reaction score
131
Well, she didn't owe you anything, DreamTime, so it shouldn't come as too direct a blow, you probably just don't know her well enough....find someone honest that isn't thinking of anyone else at the same time.
 

Suki-Yaki

焼肉わが家が一番
Joined
22 Jun 2004
Messages
323
Reaction score
1
How could you spy on your brother and your friend. And then accusing her she's not as nice as she seems just so she did something you didn't like? It's not her problem you like her , neither is it your brother's. You are turning yourself from convict to victim ...

I think it is you whom they don't know well.

Do the right thing , tell your brother all about it , and apologize !!!
 

Dream Time

Sempai
Joined
20 Jul 2003
Messages
1,174
Reaction score
24
Suki-Yaki said:
How could you spy on your brother and your friend. And then accusing her she's not as nice as she seems just so she did something you didn't like? It's not her problem you like her , neither is it your brother's. You are turning yourself from convict to victim ...

I think it is you whom they don't know well.

Do the right thing , tell your brother all about it , and apologize !!!


you don't know my brother, hes a bastard and none of us could stand him, hes a guy that creates the problems and unhappiness in the family, we don't talk much, i've never felt close to him.
i suspected there was something between them when i saw them here, my brother has a gf and my relative had a bf.
yup, i was wrong to spy, but it really made me able to see the true side of my brother.
 

Utsuki

先輩
Joined
19 Jul 2004
Messages
44
Reaction score
1
Well Dream Time! I think you should keep it to yourself only! Don't tell anyone! But it's okay to write it here to discuss your feeling! I think you should just pretend nothing had happened and that you don't know anything about this. Your brother will lost faith on you if he thinks that you peeped his message history (even you're not!). And you shouldn't conclude anything due to your doubt too even you think it's 80% truth! So just act normal, you should treat them in usual ways although it's tough! It's not fair to the girl if you don't talk to her when she doesn't know anything that you have known!
 

Dream Time

Sempai
Joined
20 Jul 2003
Messages
1,174
Reaction score
24
maybe i'll just not talk to them anymore, a brother that i've never liked and cared ,and a friend that i don't have faith in anymore [not just this incident, but some other incidents as well, she told me about those herself]...so why should i be feeling this way?
 

Dream Time

Sempai
Joined
20 Jul 2003
Messages
1,174
Reaction score
24
Utsuki said:
Your brother will lost faith on you if he thinks that you peeped his message history (even you're not!).


actually i don't really care if he loses faith in me, living in this house i've sucked up so much for so many years coz hes a bastard
i'm gonna move out as soon as when i have the money [i've decided that long before this incident, so its not the cause]
 

Utsuki

先輩
Joined
19 Jul 2004
Messages
44
Reaction score
1
Don't ever lose faith on your families!!! They're the closest friends even you hate them! You should never have these thoughts! As for the girl, you're not her boyfriend so you can't say anything to her or blame her! She will think you have no right to hate her for this...
 

Dream Time

Sempai
Joined
20 Jul 2003
Messages
1,174
Reaction score
24
Utsuki said:
Don't ever lose faith on your families!!! They're the closest friends even you hate them! You should never have these thoughts! As for the girl, you're not her boyfriend so you can't say anything to her or blame her! She will think you have no right to hate her for this...

i'm just gonna not talk to her anymore, i'm not gonna tell her or anyone that i know about this.

i've never had any faith for my family since when i was a child,
it doesn't matter to me much.
 

Eternal Wind

聖天使
Joined
30 Jan 2004
Messages
793
Reaction score
2
What ever you do,don't anyhow speculate until you got enough info on the stituation before blowing things up.

It definately will turn ugly...try and take one step at a time.No rush...rushing will only lead to trouble.

Love her then accept her for what she is.
 

Knives

Sempai
Joined
2 Jul 2004
Messages
283
Reaction score
3
hey man whats up??? anyways whats going on seems like a big thing your going through.. and im sure it hurts. But like you said earlyer she got drunk and fooled around with your brother.. **** like that happens unfortunatly but its not like they actually have feeling for one another it was just a one night thing, and i can understand you being upset with both of them but you cant just go and tell them about it that hey bro "i was looking in your message history and i found this" cause that will just make a huge problem between you your bro and this girl.. if i were you i would let it go and act like it never happend i honestly think thats the best way but if you still like this girl keep in contact with her cause you never know cause alot of girls your gonna meet are gonna have secrets like that but you cant let it get to you.. my G/F has dont **** like that in the past but it doesnt mean shes doing it now me and her love eachother and know oneanothers past but good luck man and if you need to talk to people were all here and ready to help :)
 

Dream Time

Sempai
Joined
20 Jul 2003
Messages
1,174
Reaction score
24
Knives said:
if i were you i would let it go and act like it never happend i honestly think thats the best way but if you still like this girl keep in contact with her cause you never know cause alot of girls your gonna meet are gonna have secrets like that but you cant let it get to you.. my G/F has dont **** like that in the past but it doesnt mean shes doing it now me and her love eachother and know oneanothers past


the hardest part to get over this thing, is that she did it with my brother, not someone else, but my brother.
 

Dream Time

Sempai
Joined
20 Jul 2003
Messages
1,174
Reaction score
24
i am trying let go of this thing,
and she is going through a very emotion time right now because her uncle have just passed away
so i don't want to add more stress onto her
 

Knives

Sempai
Joined
2 Jul 2004
Messages
283
Reaction score
3
ya thats smart the thing you can do to show you care is to be there for her and let her know if she needs to talk or anything that you can provide it its proboly best right now like you said to mention that stuff.. good luck man
 
Top Bottom