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I need help with translating this into Japanese

Chinesia

Registered
3 Jun 2016
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Hello!
This might seem a tad too weird, but I really need to have this sentence translated into Japanese, it's important.
Please translate the following : 'I am going to pop and lock and jam and break your leg'
Thanks in advance =)
 
Let me guess...

You want to send it to your online gaming friend who also doesn't understand Japanese....
 
Let me guess...

You want to send it to your online gaming friend who also doesn't understand Japanese....
It's for me and my sister, because we love using this as a joke. She's studied Japanese for quite some time, but she doesn't really know how to form future tense in Japanese and I have only recently started started studying Japanese myself.
I tried translating it myself but I am not really sure how to translate those verbs properly.
Text: あなたの足を爆ぜて閉ざして詰め込んで破っていきます(?)
 
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