I need help with translating this into Japanese

[Chinesia]

Hello!
This might seem a tad too weird, but I really need to have this sentence translated into Japanese, it's important.
Please translate the following : 'I am going to pop and lock and jam and break your leg'
Thanks in advance =)

 

[Mike Cash]

Let me guess...

You want to send it to your online gaming friend who also doesn't understand Japanese....

 

[Chinesia]

Let me guess...

You want to send it to your online gaming friend who also doesn't understand Japanese....

It's for me and my sister, because we love using this as a joke. She's studied Japanese for quite some time, but she doesn't really know how to form future tense in Japanese and I have only recently started started studying Japanese myself.
I tried translating it myself but I am not really sure how to translate those verbs properly.
Text: あなたの足を爆ぜて閉ざして詰め込んで破っていきます(？)