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How to share rent with Japanese girlfriend

How much should a girl (with own income) contribute to the rent when living together?


  • Total voters
    10

mikels

後輩
24 Sep 2010
4
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11
What is the common way to split up rent when moving in with a girl in Japan? In many countries it's proportional to income or half/half, but how about Japan? What are your thoughts?
 
I'm not an expert on the subject, but I would say split the rent right down the middle. I would do the same with the bills (maybe not cell phones and the like).
 
There are many details left out here. Not knowing whether she is really your "girlfriend" (lover) or "girl-friend" (female friend) I selected that she should pay half. Also, did you invite her to live with you or did she propose it?

Irregardless, I still say she should pay half if she is working, including the food and utilities. I say this because it will give you some kind of indication of how she will react and handle money in the future. I would be wary if she balks at having to paying anything other than half.
 
Thank you. Apparently the title doesn't make it obvious enough, the question is about moving in with a girlfriend. In many countries rent etc. is split in half but in Japan I don't think that is the common practice. So I am interested to hear your opinions about it.
 
Thank you. Apparently the title doesn't make it obvious enough, the question is about moving in with a girlfriend. In many countries rent etc. is split in half but in Japan I don't think that is the common practice. So I am interested to hear your opinions about it.
Apparently not. Still, what is your relationship with this girl? Are you planning on getting married? Have you met the family? Does here parents know she is moving in with you? All these will be pertinent to how you should deal with the situation.
 
You still have not offered any details as to the relationship. What happens in other countries cannot be applied to Japan, especially if you are from a western country.

Anyway, it is a common practice in Japan and is more common than maybe you realize. How the Japanese themselves handle it these days I cannot say, (and neither can my Japanese wife), but I do know, from personal experience in Japan as a foreigner, that the woman, if she is working and chooses to live with you will, more than likely, offer to pay half out of respect. At least that's what I experienced on two occasions during my stay.

Maybe things have changed today, but after speaking to my Japanese wife, she says that if the woman is working and chooses to live with you, she should pay half, and offer to do so, unless you indicate otherwise. If not, she is probably "using you", probably as a "boy toy and accessory" and "a way to cut her own expenses" if you are just friends. (My wife's words, not mine).

As a poor, working student, when I was in Japan, I appreciated that the two women I lived with, who were working, offered, of their own volition, to pay half the expenses as it helped a lot. Not that it mattered much, mind you, but it was the reduced expenses on my part that helped and enabled me to save some money.

Your case may be wholly different, but without more details, it is quite difficult to offer advice other than personal experience.
 
Thank you. I was hoping for some general opinions but here are some more details.

It's a serious relationship, marriage is far ahead but possible. If we eventually marry and have kids she would stop working and I would pay for everything.

We are both working but my income is higher so I feel if she pays part of the rent it should not be half. When going out with working friends and colleagues in Japan it's common that those with assumed lower income pay less. When going out with a girl on a date guys often take over the complete bill.

She will be moving into my apartment for which I am already paying the full rent now. So I am in doubt whether she should even pay anything. I don't think I should be saving money because of her. On the other side, she would be saving the complete rent she is paying for her apartment right now.
 
We are both working but my income is higher
This was going to be my question. Women unfortunately often make less than men in Japan. You only said she had her "own income", but didn't elaborate. What are we talking about here in terms of both of your salaries?

so I feel if she pays part of the rent it should not be half.
This is something the two of you need to discuss in terms of how much you are both able to pay. I don't think anyone here can give you any more advice than that.

When going out with a girl on a date guys often take over the complete bill.
Uh, yes! Did you expect it to be different?

She will be moving into my apartment for which I am already paying the full rent now.
Another detail you neglected to explain.

So I am in doubt whether she should even pay anything.
Again, this is up to both of you. You want her to shack up with you, with marriage only in the far unforeseen future. Discuss how much she is able (not willing, but financially able) to pay, compared to what she might have paid by herself earlier.

I don't think I should be saving money because of her. On the other side, she would be saving the complete rent she is paying for her apartment right now.
Your first statement here is irrelevant. If you think you shouldn't save money because she moves in, then why should she save money by moving in? It doesn't make sense.

Have the talk.
 
Glenski, thanks for your thoughts. Yes, we'll talk about it and even if I pay the full rent I am fine with that. With posting this question I was just hoping to hear how it's generally done in Japan. Such as paying the girl pays half, nothing or something in between proportionate to the income of the two.

>Uh, yes! Did you expect it to be different?
No, the previous posters wrote that a girl should pay half so I was giving some reasons why she shouldn't.
 
In some families, one person would pay for the rent, while the other would pay for groceries and the household bills.

Because my wife isn't working we are living on my salary... Being married and having a girlfriend is a whole different story though.
 
Glenski, thanks for your thoughts. Yes, we'll talk about it and even if I pay the full rent I am fine with that.
If she has a job that brings in any money at all, I certainly wouldn't be "fine with that". She should pay something.
 
I'd say it depends on you; not her or Japan customs.

If it were me, and it was a "serious" relationship, I'd consider her money hers and my money ours. Down the road a ways, all money would be ours (pooled). I would never let money interfere in the relationship.

If money gets in the way, the relationship isn't very serious, in my opinion.

But if you want a 21st Century, PC relationship, 50-50.

BTW, this is my belief now, and was 44 years ago, when I met my future wife. My 43rd anniversary is in 8 days. ;)
 
Definately talk about it.... here is an interesting thing though. What is the difference in your rent compaired to the rent she is paying? Is it already half of yours? You can both pocket some cash on this venture even if your paying 60 percent and she 40 percent your both making out. Bills DEFINATELY need to be 50/50.
As an example I am moving back to Japan in feb and we are moving into my wifes "family home" so we are taking over the house payment however her brother and father are paying everything else so it all works out that everyone is saving money.
If wedding bells are not in the near future then I would split the rent just incase your relationship turns South, this way your both financially ok incase she needs to move back out.
 
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