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How to "Get Through" to Japanese people

TheImmigrantSong

日本はいちばん!
4 Dec 2006
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Hi guys, this is something I was curiose about and wanted to ask here. I have been in Japan for almost 4 months now. I go to an Amercian school but am still in contact with many Japanese kids and even more through my all Japanese hockey team. Which brings me to my question.

Most Japanese kids a my school that haven't been there long, do not talk to American kids at all. They only stay within their group of Japanese, even though they can speak some "ok" english. Now the ones that are used to Americans, I always tell, but most just dont talk to people other than Japanese.

I am one of those people that are very intrested in Japanese culture and people period, so I have made my mission to try to break the barrier beetwen me and some of these Japanese kids. The few that I have talked too, I have gotten very shy response from. Almost as if I intimidate them, like I am goin to jump out an bite them. This puzzels me, I am not that big of a guy, and definatly not scary looking (I hope...hahaha). I just don't understand.

One girl who I talk too a lot now told me that the Japanese are afraid to talk because they are afraid us americans will make fun of their english and correct them. I can see where they come from but, I dunno it just doesn't make sense. I try to speak Japanese on the economy all the time, I sometimes get it wrong and look like a fool but I do anyway. So....

How DO YOU break down this shy barrier?

Is it different between Japanese girls and boys?

Well thanks for any input. I know it may sound like a dumb question. HAHA thanks guys.
 
Events and group activities are a good start, as I'm sure you found from playing hockey. There's also nomikai, if you're of age :)
 
Actually besides my coach (Who speaks little english) and my translator, not any of the other players have even attepted to say hello. Except for a 5 year old boy...the irony!
 
Dont become too forceful or anything but try and get yourself involved with them more often, like ask to sit with a group or join conversations.

I havnt been in this situation myself but I would assume like most, its simply a case of making yourself more familiar to them, and dispelling their anxieties and fears about you.
 
One girl who I talk too a lot now told me that the Japanese are afraid to talk because they are afraid us americans will make fun of their english and correct them. I can see where they come from but, I dunno it just doesn't make sense. I try to speak Japanese on the economy all the time, I sometimes get it wrong and look like a fool but I do anyway. So....
I'm confused too why Japanese kids are going to an American school and some apparently not being encouraged to pick up the language skills they would need to be there. Do the other American or international students also try speaking with them in Japanese ?

You could be the victim of an educational system that has instutionalized segregation between the two groups, in which case it's going to take much longer to break through that barrier. At least during classes....the hockey experience sounds more promising, especially once that translator can be sent packing. :p
 
Usually one or two beers will make most japanese become very informal. However, as I do not know your age I am not shure that this is the best advice for you.
 
HanChan, I was just going to make the same suggestion... I guess it's just getting to the izakaya that is the hard part. Many people think that the Japanese are solely a very disciplined and hard working people, they are that, but if you put a group of Japanese in a room w/ full flowing beer & soju, add a microphone and an extensive Enka & pop karaoke set... You'll see just how sociable and wild the Japanese can get.

Going to matsuri is a good thing, I think that the Japanese are generally proud to have foreigners come to matsuri to see and experience one of the most beautiful aspects of Japanese life, the yearly festivals.

If all else fails, get a Japanese girlfriend--- she will introduce you to friends, and you'll be going out with the locals.

Good luck.
 
I'm confused too why Japanese kids are going to an American school and some apparently not being encouraged to pick up the language skills they would need to be there. Do the other American or international students also try speaking with them in Japanese ?

Well I go to American school on base, but a lot of what they call "tuition" attend also. Who are basically full Japanese kids (Wealthy too I might add) that pay their way into our school. For what? I am not sure, I think the Japanese education is better, I think it is just for the expousure to english. But like I said, aside from class, many of them don't leave their nitch of Japanese speakers. And yeah the other American kids really make no effort.

I will take some of your opinions to note and see what happens. Arigato.
 
One girl who I talk too a lot now told me that the Japanese are afraid to talk because they are afraid us americans will make fun of their english and correct them.

Yes it's a big taboo in Japan to be correcting other people's mistakes, especially towards those you don't know well. You only do that if you have known the person for a certain period of time and that you and him/her agreed before hand that you are going to do to that. Even so they don't want to be disturbed too much. They just don't like the sense of being an inferior. They know that their English is nowhere near your level, but they need not me reminded of that, or so they think. Of course once in a while you would bump into the fervent language learner who would write down everything that you in order to sound like an American.
 
TheImmigrantSong said:
How DO YOU break down this shy barrier?
Japanese your age will always be extremely shy and there is no way around it especially when they are learning English. "Getting through" to them will come in time. Perhaps, if you take the effort to learn to speak Japanese, they may become less inhibited and it may help to break the ice so to speak. By you speaking not so perfect Japanese to them, it may help relieve some of the tension. Just a suggestion. Good luck.
 
Hi guys, this is something I was curiose about and wanted to ask here. I have been in Japan for almost 4 months now. I go to an Amercian school but am still in contact with many Japanese kids and even more through my all Japanese hockey team. Which brings me to my question.
Most Japanese kids a my school that haven't been there long, do not talk to American kids at all. They only stay within their group of Japanese, even though they can speak some "ok" english. Now the ones that are used to Americans, I always tell, but most just dont talk to people other than Japanese.
I am one of those people that are very intrested in Japanese culture and people period, so I have made my mission to try to break the barrier beetwen me and some of these Japanese kids. The few that I have talked too, I have gotten very shy response from. Almost as if I intimidate them, like I am goin to jump out an bite them. This puzzels me, I am not that big of a guy, and definatly not scary looking (I hope...hahaha). I just don't understand.
One girl who I talk too a lot now told me that the Japanese are afraid to talk because they are afraid us americans will make fun of their english and correct them. I can see where they come from but, I dunno it just doesn't make sense. I try to speak Japanese on the economy all the time, I sometimes get it wrong and look like a fool but I do anyway. So....
How DO YOU break down this shy barrier?
Is it different between Japanese girls and boys?
Well thanks for any input. I know it may sound like a dumb question. HAHA thanks guys.
It is often easier of girls, if they are pretty. Boys will be boys in any culture. Many Japanese men want to date an American girl. I often find that many Caucasian women don't want to date Japanese men however. I of course am an exception. Social accessiblity depends also on your own level of physical attractiveness and the willingness to be open with others.

Even amongst the Japanese Brazilian Nikkeijin, the obstacle for being accepted was most difficult amongst men. The women that tried to get to know the Japanese men were easily accepted, and many chose to marry Japanese men. Often, their ability to become Japanese nationals is made easier, and the Japanese do make it easier for the Nikkeijin who marry Japanese Japanese to get citizenship at the minimum required time. (I find this a bit unfair, as this will not likely be the case with me, as I am Caucasian.) They will however, be even more pressured to master Japanese better than anyone will expect me to perform, and they will be pressured into accepting the Japanese social customs like any other Japanese, whereas the Japanese will give me more of a break.
 
They just don't like the sense of being an inferior. They know that their English is nowhere near your level, but they need not me reminded of that, or so they think.

Sorry, a little off topic:
My Japanese work colleagues are very good at English. But sometimes they attempt to correct my English, or challenge its correctness. For example, I informed a work colleague that I was going to the UK for my parents' fiftieth wedding anniversary.

"Fiffutiiieeefff? What's that?"
"5-0-t-hツ。窶啜窶唹窶敕披?禿?
"Ha! You mean 'fiftyss'. 'Fiftieth' must be some weird London dialect."
"No, it's the same in all English-speaking countries."
"I'm sorry, you are wrong. My Engrish(sic) teacher says 'fiftyss'"
"<Smiling>Ah, your English teacher is not a native speaker, but I am ... " etc etc etc.

At this point other Japanese colleagues entered the discussion and also assured me I was wrong (politely but earnestly.) A dictionary settled the matter.

The original misunderstanding is easy to appreciate, but since I'm 'senior' (I dislike that concept) to that group in age, job grade and (most importantly and obviously) English ability, I was a little taken aback. The defence of their English ability became more important than their everyday social etiquette.
 
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