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How to find a partner if you're extremely shy and asocial?


18 Sep 2018
Hi there, I have always been wanting to find a partner. However I am an extremely asocial person, I basically spend 50% of time at my part time job and 50% at home. I refuse to go to places with any crowds, never go to bars, no activities (I chose to) no drama. How can I find a partner in this kind of situation? Because I know that it is impossible to change my current way of life. I am also extremely cheap and frugal, refuse to spend any money on anything.
Back in the day when I moved to Japan, I got involved in an online group (referred to as a "mailing list" in those days) and met a variety of people that way. They would have social gatherings on occasion where I made a lot of friends. Bottom line is that one way or another you need to put yourself in a position to meet and interact other people.
Try to get more sociable. Get involved in things you're interested in, or set up your own group/club (through Meet Up or something like that). That way you'll hopefully meet people with similar interests who you can relate to.

The only way to build up confidence is to get out there and do it, make mistakes, fall on your face, pick yourself up and try again. Dealing with failure and rejection can be tough but it's a normal human occurrence. Get used to it.
I am also extremely cheap and frugal, refuse to spend any money on anything.

With this condition I don't think somebody is found to be your partner or roommate, because he is worried you go to refrigerator and eat all his saved foods, instead you buy something for yourself.

And if he is frugal too the issue gets worse because then you both will have to tolerate hunger and lack of cool lemonade for a long time.
I am frugal too because I basically haven't money!
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It depends on your sincerity and what are your long term goals.
You're gonna get a person according to who you are and how much you're doing to get better everyday. It's not a bad thing that you avoid crowned places, typical places where most of people are looking for short-term sensations, leading nowhere in the end.
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