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how do you make friends? (male)

sandoro

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hi i am a male living in tokyo,
i have been incapsulated in the japanese world for about 20 years, i don't have foreigner friends.
how do you guys make male friends.
i am not a gay, i just want to make foreigner friends, nothing else.
i am working for a japanese travel agency, so again i always speak to japanese people and frequent them, but i found that you cannot have the same type of conversation like you have with foreigners or share similar feelings.
i am from italy, but i lived in uk for about 13 years.
any thought in that?

P.S sarcastic remarks are welcome
 

Mikawa Ossan

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I don't know.

I too, have no non-Japanese friends in Japan.
I too, only speak to Japanese people every day.

I guess you could go to an international cooperation group or what you'd call it at your local city. I don't know about Chiba, but there are those ツ坂?伉催崘津ー窶板ャ窶ーテッ type of things all over the place here in Aichi. That could be a starting place...There should be information at your local city hall.

Good luck!
 

mad pierrot

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well....

Find a gaijin. Listen to them. Offer to buy them a beer and listen more. Repeat until you find one that you like.

Finding a gaijin in Japan shouldn't be too hard these days. Hell, you could just wait until a Saturday night and then ambush a group of drunk eikaiwa teachers on their way home from the pub.

😊
 

Davey

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Mikawa Ossan said:
I too, have no non-Japanese friends in Japan.

aaaaaaaaa. but that will change very soon, when I come in a 6 months...🙂

I don't think it is so hard to make friends with other foreigners... go to where they are a lot, and talk to them. or wait until they talk to you.. places like english bars, etc
🙂
 

sandoro

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i wonder why i posted this thread, if someone else had posted this thread would i give the same advice?
maybe, but then again i would ask more questions, of course the suggestion i have been given can be useful, but in practice it does not work like that,
stopping people in the street? try to talk to people in clubs or pubs?
i don't have those chances anyway.

so i guess i just live it to chances, when it happens, happens
 

mad pierrot

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practice it does not work like that,
stopping people in the street? try to talk to people in clubs or pubs?
i don't have those chances anyway.
Why not? It's all up to you, man. In fact, I know tons of people who have the reverse problem; they know lots of gaijin in Japan but have trouble making many Japanese friends. (language barrier?)
It's all dumb luck, anyways. I met my current girlfriend of 2 years at the cleaners.
😌
 

Davey

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mad pierrot said:
It's all dumb luck, anyways. I met my current girlfriend of 2 years at the cleaners.
😌


AAAAA how romantic, just like a MOVIE 🙂

Don't steal my next thread😊
 

sandoro

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mad pierrot said:
Why not? It's all up to you, man. In fact, I know tons of people who have the reverse problem; they know lots of gaijin in Japan but have trouble making many Japanese friends. (language barrier?)
It's all dumb luck, anyways. I met my current girlfriend of 2 years at the cleaners.
😌
unfortunately i don't have a problem finding japanese friends and especially girl friend, actually that could be another thread, i am in love with 2 j/g
i don't know what to do, i have to make a choice.
all the reverse, i need a bit of foreigner world, i will eventually find them, it is just i don't have time to look for them like i have been suggested.
 

AllMakesCombined

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If you're looking for American guy friends, cars, football, and beer is a good place to start. While I really don't care too much for football, I'm usually up for going to the bar for a couple of beers with a buddy to go flirt with women.

Guys like to exchange advice on technical things too. Are you a geek and can't figure out why your motherboard is only detecting two of your 3 sticks of RAM? Ask a dude that knows something about computers.

Not to put my own country down or anything, but I also notice that a lot of American guys are simply ignorant and insecure about Japanese culture. A Japanese friend I once met on a language exchange site knew this and made sure to point out to me that he was a guy. It was funny because I was trying to be much more respectful and friendly than usual to accomodate for what I knew about Japanese culture. Compared to Japanese culture, American men aren't concerned with speaking respectfully or being extremely nice. For example, they are polite, but they won't bother complimenting how well you speak English.

My friend and I were talking when the subject of music came up. This might be a good example of what I'm trying to say... I saw an Ai Otsuka video for the song "Smily" and told him that I liked it, but was embarassed to admit it. When he asked why I would be embarassed, I explained that my guy friends would probably laugh at me... American culture isn't too big on super happy songs with rainmbow colors and smiles. It's cooler to have a mysterious dark side. It's as if Japan has no inhibitions when it comes to cheerfulness... and why should it?

If it's any help, sandoro, I'll shoot the sh*t with you. I need to learn Japanese better anyway. Just drop me a message or something. And don't worry.. I'm not gay either. lol.
 

El P8s

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sandoro said:
unfortunately i don't have a problem finding japanese friends and especially girl friend, actually that could be another thread, i am in love with 2 j/g
i don't know what to do, i have to make a choice.
all the reverse, i need a bit of foreigner world, i will eventually find them, it is just i don't have time to look for them like i have been suggested.

What you need are either some english friends or some german ones,trust me they are the cooles 👍 😌
 

sandoro

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moffeltoff said:
What you need are either some english friends or some german ones,trust me they are the cooles 👍 😌


be careful with that comment, you risk to be lynched by other posters.
but thanks anyway.
 

bentenmusume

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sandoro said:
i always speak to japanese people and frequent them, but i found that you cannot have the same type of conversation like you have with foreigners or share similar feelings.
I don't know if this will count as a "sarcastic" remark or not, but...

The above statement (quoted) is not true in my experience, and it is perhaps for this reason I have never felt it necessary to go out of my way to seek out "foreigner" friends.

In my experience, Japanese people are just people. The degree to which you can connect with and "share feelings" with another human being differs from person to person. Things like language and culture differences can get in the way, but they can be overcome (and besides, it's not like there aren't plenty of other things that can get in the way when talking to someone with whom you share a native language and culture).

No offense, but based on what I've read of your posts here and in other threads, I'm afraid it may be difficult for you to build a truly deep and meaningful friendship with anyone -- at least not without doing a good bit of soul-searching.

Of course, if you just want a "foreigner" buddy to get drunk with and talk about how weird Japan and Japanese people are, then that shouldn't be too hard to accomplish.

Ouch, I guess I did get kind of sarcastic near the end there. Sorry about that.
 

sandoro

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jt_ said:
I don't know if this will count as a "sarcastic" remark or not, but...
The above statement (quoted) is not true in my experience, and it is perhaps for this reason I have never felt it necessary to go out of my way to seek out "foreigner" friends.
In my experience, Japanese people are just people. The degree to which you can connect with and "share feelings" with another human being differs from person to person. Things like language and culture differences can get in the way, but they can be overcome (and besides, it's not like there aren't plenty of other things that can get in the way when talking to someone with whom you share a native language and culture).
No offense, but based on what I've read of your posts here and in other threads, I'm afraid it may be difficult for you to build a truly deep and meaningful friendship with anyone -- at least not without doing a good bit of soul-searching.
Of course, if you just want a "foreigner" buddy to get drunk with and talk about how weird Japan and Japanese people are, then that shouldn't be too hard to accomplish.
Ouch, I guess I did get kind of sarcastic near the end there. Sorry about that.

thanks for your thought,
you maybe right, is not about a nationality, probably is me and not them, i will keep it in mind.
P.S you have not been sarcastic at all.
I appreciated.
 

El P8s

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sandoro said:
be careful with that comment, you risk to be lynched by other posters.
but thanks anyway.

Why would that happen naturally everyone agrees with me right?:giggle:
 
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I have a suggestion, although I am not sure of its quality. There is this Site we have here in America called Myspace. Basically, people make a free website about themselves and compare their like with other people's stuff. I know of one person who was out of the country that made one so it might work for you. You can use where you live as a conversation starter. This idea has worked once before for someone, What have you got to lose if it doesn't?
 
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