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How do they treat girls?

CrystalTear

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I just wanted to know. How are girls in japan treated. ☝ Not just Japanese women but, all women.
if you could tell me. 😊
 
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Brooker

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I can't say for sure because I'm not a girl. But one of my former co-workers, an Australian girl, always complained about men talking to her in public or making rude comments. Many of the people who did this were not Japanese, but were other foreigners. She was a very "well endowed" girl and insisted on wearing low v-neck shirts - something sure to turn heads in Japan. Even though she "complained" about it a lot, I suspect that she secretly liked the attention because she talked about it all the time.
 

playaa

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Brooker, I really hate people that are like that. They KNOW they are asking for the kind of attention but then complain about it when they recieve it. Thats like dressing as Hitler and walking through a Jewish neighborhood then complaining that you recieved bad attention (if you made it out). It doesnt make sense. Why wear revealing shirts, when you know it brings attention and comments, if you are going to complain about it, Beats me. :D
 

orochi

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OP,
You pose a question that is very difficult to answer in short. I am positive there is plenty of literature out there that you could bury yourself in before you start to figure out the whole picture. I have lived in Japan for almost two years now and am still not positive on the role that women play here.
To make a short answer, I would say that women here are definitely not treated as equal as they are treated back home (that's the US for me). Wages for women are lower. You don't see as many female Presidents or CEOs in the business world.
You do see a lot of women on TV, though. Sadly, it is not always in the best light. Women on TV are often presented as eye candy. They offer no real substance to the television show and instead are just there to look cute or pretty. An example of this are foreign language TV shows. There are a wide variety, teaching English, French, Italian, Chinese, German and more to budding Japanese viewers at home. Every one of these shows has the same recipe: a native speaker from said country; an older, educated, usually male speaker of the foreign language; and the young, cute Japanese girl who just can't seem to get this new language down. They wear cute outfits and giggle and jump around. You do the math.
If you start bringing issues such as Japan having the largest "adult products" market in the world, this issue can turn into quite an intense debate. Then there's snack bars and cabaret clubs. The list goes on and on...
 

Golgo_13

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If Japanese women are being treated so badly, why don't you see more of them complaining?
 

orochi

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If Japanese women are being treated so badly, why don't you see more of them complaining?

What exactly do you mean? What kind of complaining do you mean? Feminist literature, riots on the streets?

There isn't a lot of "complaining" because there have never been very strong or persuasive feminist movements in the country. Unlike a lot of Western countries, the 20th century did not see a move for equality in Japan. While many women are not *happy* with their position, a fair number seem to be at least complacent with their position in society. From a Western viewpoint, women are treated quite badly but to the Japanese, this is just how it has always been. There has never been a great demand for change.

Recently, though, it seems that a lot of women on the individual level do want something to change. A lot of young women spend time overseas as students or on working holiday visas. These women, exposed to communities outside of Japan come back a lot different (if they come back at all). There is also a growing "demand" for foreigner boyfriends/husbands who will treat them as equals and give them an escape out of Japan and its boundaries on women.

There's also the fact that Japanese tend to complain a lot less than other cultures. There's definitely a "grin and bear it" mindset. 我慢!我慢!
 
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or in other words, in response to 'If Japanese women are being treated so badly, why don't you see more of them complaining?', how can you miss something you've never had? Most of these women have lived in Japan their whole life, so that's all they know. In a way they are 'brainwashed' by their own culture. but then again, all of us are, right?
 

neko_girl22

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orochi said:
These women, exposed to communities outside of Japan come back a lot different (if they come back at all). There is also a growing "demand" for foreigner boyfriends/husbands who will treat them as equals and give them an escape out of Japan and its boundaries on women.

There's also the fact that Japanese tend to complain a lot less than other cultures. There's definitely a "grin and bear it" mindset. 我慢!我慢!

While a lot of what you say is true, I feel you are seeing it too much from a western view point. I agree that women have a lot of difficulties in the workplace - but then women didn't have it easy in the west for a long time either. Japanese women need to push for change themselves.
The reason why Japanese girls want foreign boyfriends is not always that they are looking for something "better" but they have been influenced by western media - hollywood movies - and it's is fashionable to be with a tall, blonde, white man. Like a LV bag , it's all the rage :D
 

orochi

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While a lot of what you say is true, I feel you are seeing it too much from a western view point.

Sorry for the confusion. I was trying to stress the fact that how we view Japanese from outside the culture is very different than how they feel inside their own culture, given history and tradition. Without a feminist movement, many women are content because, like carolgirl00 said, women don't know what they are missing.

Dating Western men because of media brainwashing definitely occurs, but I don't know how prevelant it is compared to more "sincere" relationships. The majority of girls that I have seen in my stay here that are with foreign guys are in that more "sincere" group. A lot of my friends are with Japanese girls for very good reasons besides what the media is telling them (both) to do.

This topic is tricky to talk about without getting caught up in stereotypes and generalizations. Obviously not every Japanese guy treats women badly. In fact, there are plenty of non-Japanese women here who are happily married to Japanese men in equal partnerships. There are also plenty of not so "Prince Charming" foreign men here as well taking advantage of Japanese women.

I do think, though, that in a lot of Western countries, at least the US where I grew up, men are raised to feel like they really have to work hard to earn that girl. You've got to take her out, open doors for her, be a gentlemen, etc. Although I'm sure some of us do it, I think there are far fewer of us non-Japanese guys going out on dates with girls and spending the whole time on our keitai or reading a comic book waiting for the food to arrive (I still get surprised when I see that).
 

kirei_na_me

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This was one of those topics I was hoping would lose momentum. It's inviting a plethora of stereotypes and generalizations. You can search this forum over and find many discussions we've already had on this topic. Gosh knows I have no energy left to discuss it...

There are a few of us on this forum who are also married to Japanese men, by the way.

Also, I think Western men sometimes go to Japan thinking they're going to 'save the damsel'(this conversation seems familiar, j)...
 

RockLee

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kirei_na_me said:
Also, I think Western men sometimes go to Japan thinking they're going to 'save the damsel'(this conversation seems familiar, j)...

This is part true...part false...some ppl make themself believe they are needed because they are kinda obsessed by Japanese woman :D.As are there ppl who just love Asian girls/woman (like me 😊 ) and think about a relationship with a japanese girl in the way of love...If just a matter of choice actually :)
 

KitsuneUdon

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kirei_na_me said:
...Also, I think Western men sometimes go to Japan thinking they're going to 'save the damsel'...

👍

Yeah, have you ever read the comic strip "Charisma Man"? It's totally about the overly confident Gaijin coming to Japan and then ending up making a total *** of himself (at least in the eyes of other Gaijin).

Let me make an anaology with Charisma Man in mind:

Gaijin in Japan are like the old English Safari Hunters, they went to an exotic country (ie. Africa) and simply hunted for trophies. It was all game and very rarely was it taken seriously.
 

kirei_na_me

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Heh. Yeah, sounds like a good many who go over there, but I know not all are that way.

Sounds like this "Charisma Man" is worth checking into... :p

Oh, and I've also noticed that it's almost starting to get that way with Western women too. All of these female otaku(for j-music, anime, even history) are starting to want a Japanese boy. Little do they know... :p

And let me say, "just kidding!!!!!!!!!", for anyone who might take offense to that last sentence. Well, kind of.
 

playaa

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:LOL: I am going to be Charisma Man for the 2 weeks I am in Japan! Just Kidding, though I wouldn't mind finding me a hottie over there. Of course I would always rather find kirei! But I didn't say that. :joyful: 😊
 

Golgo_13

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nzueda said:
While a lot of what you say is true, I feel you are seeing it too much from a western view point. I agree that women have a lot of difficulties in the workplace - but then women didn't have it easy in the west for a long time either. Japanese women need to push for change themselves.
The reason why Japanese girls want foreign boyfriends is not always that they are looking for something "better" but they have been influenced by western media - hollywood movies - and it's is fashionable to be with a tall, blonde, white man. Like a LV bag , it's all the rage :D

Thank you.

The only ones who are bi+ching aren't even Japanese.

How long does it take for people to realize that trying to apply one's own culture and customs on another culture doesn't work.

If you feel so strongly that women in Japan are treated badly (as opposed to women in a middle-eastern country), and you are a female, there's a simple solution: don't go to Japan.

Gee, I don't know how women like nzueda can take it each day in Japan being so used and abused and treated like dog schidt.
 

Golgo_13

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Thanks again!

Of all the female relatives I met during my recent trip to Japan, NOT ONE mentioned anything to the effect that they'd like to live in the U.S. because women are treated better there.



BTW, why is this thread titled "How are GIRLS treated in Japan?"?

Does this literally mean little girls?

Or did the person have so little respect for women that the person refers to them as "girls"? Perhaps the whole discussion should've started there.
 
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neko_girl22

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Golgo_13 said:
Gee, I don't know how women like nzueda can take it each day in Japan being so used and abused and treated like dog schidt.

Yes my Japanese husband treats me terribly! Just yesterday he surprised me with a candlelit dinner, flowers and a gift to celebrate 4 years since we first started dating, and two years since we got engaged.
Really, I don't know how much more of this I can take!! :D
 

Golgo_13

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Ueda-san no Okusan wa omoshiroi na! :D :D :D :D :D

I mean, why even bring up the subject of how women are being treated in Japan--is it such an important issue?--when there are countries in Latin America where men do not get convicted for killing their wives if they caught them cheating on them, or countries in the middle east where women are not allowed to receive education and are required to wear a veil over their faces all the time, or in Africa where little girls' sexual organs are mutilated.
 

ashuri2

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Golgo_13 said:
Ueda-san no Okusan wa omoshiroi na! :D :D :D :D :D

I mean, why even bring up the subject of how women are being treated in Japan--is it such an important issue?--when there are countries in Latin America where men do not get convicted for killing their wives if they caught them cheating on them, or countries in the middle east where women are not allowed to receive education and are required to wear a veil over their faces all the time, or in Africa where little girls' sexual organs are mutilated.

you're so right! 🙂 while we're on it, we could bring up how women are treated in the u.s.,. cause its not as 'perfect' over here as some would make it seem to japan! i see a lot of eye candy on t.v. and other places cleverly disguised as serious shiz, and corporate and scientific america isn't always known for welcoming female colleagues with open arms! i know a lot of guys who treat the girlfriends like shiz! :eek: compared to those other countries you mentioned, japan might seem like a paradise to those women...
 

jolan

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OK, let's talk about what I learned and observed so far...

Common stereotypes: women lose thier job after first birth. Well, it's kinda true, but Japan is also one of the world country where working women is high. Why? Because a lot of women go back to their job, or another one, once children are grew up (elementary school). Finally, Japan is in the top 10 country for working women, the first one is Sweden.

Now, people starts to be aware of a new idea about society. Women will become more and more important, playing a key role in the near future. Japanese population is decreasing, and there will be more retired people than workers soon, so every women will have to work if Japan still wants to remain a leader. Just see now how huge is the number of foreign workers in Japan, and it will go on increasing, because Japan needs a lot, from nurse to take care about elder, to reaserchers... Government is spending a lot to bring people to Japan, the figures will definitely explodes in the future
Women have to deal with this situation now: Japan's future will ask a lot to them, but still, the old Japan is still there: how to explain your stepmother that you have to work rather than taking care of her? Family duty is still an important factor to take into account.

You know what? I thinks it's not that good to be a woman in Japan. Finally I know a very little number of Japanese people above 40 able to cook a single egg. But among young people, everything is changing. According to some friend of mine, Japan was far more open and easy for women in the past, but for roughly 80 years, situation have just getting worse and worse. What factors? Opening to western countries? I think the answer is more complicated... recently in Look Japan magazine of november 2003, you can read an article about a women driving a bus letting her husband taking care of children... The kind of article you would haver read 20 years ago in western europe for example. I don't think it's good to talk about evolution or stuff like this, Japan just follow his own path eventually.
You all know what is Giri don't you? Well I had experienced it in the past, and it's kind of fun just to be there late, doing nothing until late at night, just be ther, to show your boss you're here, than he can count on you. I sometimes phone japanese friends to settle a nomikai or something, but they 're often busy with overtime work! That's kind of funny, because they say they don't work at all!
During wedding ceremony, boss employers are often invited, and of extreme importance. Responsibility for the happiness of the just married couple? Work is an extremely important value in Japan, more important than private circle, family life(some japanese friends seriously thinks it used to be different in the past). But again, we have to be careful with generalization, and keep in mind that Japanese society is a lot diversified. Time and things are changing...

What about going on holiday? What kind of Japanese are you supposed to meet in foreign countries? Young women and retired people. 40 years old male workers don't take any holiday... This is also a stereotype! I met a lot of Japanese male going on holiday with their family... And I'm sure you can meet some 40 years old salary man on holiday in foreign countries...

I go to a lot of restaurant in Japan, and the only one where they first serve girls wasn't a japananese one, but a turkish one. The education is different here, that's for sure. Children's day long used to be called "Boy's day"... Finally, when I meet a Japanese boy holding the door for a girl, it appears he's been living in foreign countries for years!!!
I also attend a sotsugyo shiki, graduation ceremony for elementary school... The first to be rewarded were of course boys of the same class, and then the girls.
I originally came from Strasbourg, France. Among all the Japanese student I meet in France or Germany, almost all are girls! And the boys are studying art, philosophy! Never Science! On the contrary, I meet a lot of Chinese student studying science in Europe...

But don't worry, I also met a lot of japanese boy very kind with girl, doing chores, without having made a ryugakusei in western countries! lol. As I said before, stereotype is dangerous, and Japan is finally a place where you can meet a lot of strongly different people. Custom is not the same everywhere, that's for sure, it doesn't put people in the same box either.
 

japandan

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orochi said:
OP,

An example of this are foreign language TV shows. There are a wide variety, teaching English, French, Italian, Chinese, German and more to budding Japanese viewers at home. Every one of these shows has the same recipe: a native speaker from said country; an older, educated, usually male speaker of the foreign language; and the young, cute Japanese girl who just can't seem to get this new language down. They wear cute outfits and giggle and jump around. You do the math.

that is so right :D i've been here just 2 months but its the way, and kind of sums it up (!!) - sorry, generalisations....!
 
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