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How can I persuade my girlfriend to let me go to Japan on holiday to renew permanent residency?

applepicker

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Not sure whether it is worth extending my PR for another 5 years by having another visit to Japan- but think it would keep my options open. Have a controlling British girlfriend who would need a good reason from me to get a week to come over and do it, what could I say to her so I have a good reason to pop over? She isn't interested in coming at all. Hoped my PR might allow me to do business with Japan from the UK and who knows if I will ever come back. Got a child in the UK.
 

Glenski

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"Have a controlling British girlfriend"

You can stop right there. I don't care what the issue is that you talk about. She is your problem. The fact that you also have a kid in the UK (hers?) compounds things.

What kind of business do you hope to do with Japan from the UK? Does it even require PR?

Oh, and it's 7 years now, not five.
I want permanent residency visa in Japan.
 

applepicker

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Tell me about it and yes it's hers. We don't live together but I am with her for now for fear that I wouldn't see my son much if I left her. Women have all the custody rights and power here in the UK. You have rights (on paper), but in reality they are very weak for men. Blame feminism and women's financial independence, but that won't change my situation. Not great, but what else can I do for the next few years until he becomes more independent and out of her control. He's only 2 and the world to me of course. I am just trying to make the best of it. And use the extra time I have to myself compared with other dads to my advantage- make money and work more.

As I have PR in Japan, speak Japanese want to see if I can tap into this. Have been looking into car auctions etc Japanese cars drive on the left like the UK so are a popular import. Regarding the PR renewal, I thought it would give me options.

Britain is also leaving the EU, there is economic uncertainty in the future.
 

Mike Cash

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Blame feminism and women's financial independence
How about blaming yourself for knocking her up? You thought enough of her to make a kid with her, so suck it up and try to get along with her.
 

Glenski

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Kind of hard to figure out if your remark about car imports is what kind of job you are considering, or if you mentioned it only because you drive on the same side if the road. please be more open about responding if you truly want advice.
 

Petaris

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Blame feminism and women's financial independence
The US has a similar issue though it is changing. However I wouldn't blame feminism and women's financial independence, it is more just fighting the current of "this is how its always been done and what is expected". Traditionally children stay with their mothers because traditionally it has been the mother's job to raise the children while dad worked to support the family financially. This has been changing over the years to be more mixed/equal but the expectation of who gets the children in a divorce has been changing much more slowly.
 

HanSolo

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Just go. "I have to go do this, I'll be back on...". When you come back she'll be a grump for a brief time, and that'll be that. Bring her back some goodies. "If she allows me a week", god damn. Back in the day you'd be away for months on end on a campaign or a fishing expedition or whatever, and it's normal now in your country to have to ask permission for a one-off week-long trip with irreversible losses if you fail to take it? Remind me not to marry a Brit.

If she decides to be evil just make sure you document it, so you can at least hand it to your son as a warning in the future.

But at least you don't have Japanese custody rights. Over there the woman randomly decides to cut you off one day (no doubt nodding and smiling just before she does it) and then you never see the kid again, the rumour goes. There was even a PM there who never saw his son again. So much undiagnozed schizophrenia floating around man, that such a cultural aspect as that could come to be.
 
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nice gaijin

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I feel compelled to point out the ambiguity over whether the girlfriend is the mother of his child.

Anyways, sounds like a nightmare. Stand up for yourself man, for god's sake.
 

PatrickNZ

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Just go. Tell her you're going to get some milk and it took a week.
PR is hard to get, so letting it lapse IF you want to keep it seems a bad idea. Once you've got it and do (whatever) business in Japan you'll probably have this same problem every time you travel.
Getting advice on a forum for this also seems like a bad idea, but then it is just one of many bad things about this thread.
 
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If you are going to take the demeaning to both of you step of telling her a lie, you might as well go the whole way with a wild tale of having been kidnapped and then escaping.
 

applepicker

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Just go. "I have to go do this, I'll be back on...". When you come back she'll be a grump for a brief time, and that'll be that. Bring her back some goodies. "If she allows me a week", god damn. Back in the day you'd be away for months on end on a campaign or a fishing expedition or whatever, and it's normal now in your country to have to ask permission for a one-off week-long trip with irreversible losses if you fail to take it? Remind me not to marry a Brit.

If she decides to be evil just make sure you document it, so you can at least hand it to your son as a warning in the future.

But at least you don't have Japanese custody rights. Over there the woman randomly decides to cut you off one day (no doubt nodding and smiling just before she does it) and then you never see the kid again, the rumour goes. There was even a PM there who never saw his son again. So much undiagnozed schizophrenia floating around man, that such a cultural aspect as that could come to be.
That's what I heard when I lived in Japan an didn't have a child with a Japanese. Thought u had so much better rights with Brit women. On paper u do, but in reality just for access the girl can make your life hell. You will get access- but at huge emotional and financial cost in the worst case scenarios. Bottom line- they have the upper hand massively.

At least in Japan u are better off than women before a girl gets pregnant and then because they aren't as financially independent you also have that in your favour.

Ultimately the only men who have the upper hand are those who don't have children in Japan. In Britain you never are at an advantage over women ever! This is thanks to feminism and financial independence.
 

applepicker

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But do I need to renew and extend my PR? I don't want to live there anytime soon because of my son being in Britain, but will it enable me to do business and make money in Japan while I am mostly in the UK?
 

PatrickNZ

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Ah, that is a different question. Short answer, no - you do not need PR to live in Japan or do business in Japan.
 

applepicker

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Might as well keep it active for another 7 years, might want to live there. What is it useful anyhow?
 

Glenski

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But do I need to renew and extend my PR? I don't want to live there anytime soon because of my son being in Britain, but will it enable me to do business and make money in Japan while I am mostly in the UK?
You need to extend your PR if you want to keep it. That's such a no-brainer that I really find it hard to understand why you ask. If you really, really, really think you'll come back here "anytime soon", do that. If you think it's more likely that you'll never come back, don't renew.

As far as I know, what you do outside Japan while on PR is your business, not Japan's. Refresh our memories on this long thread -- what sort of business do you want to conduct in Japan while living outside Japan?
 

mdchachi

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What did you end up doing? If you're trying to make a business and provide for your child, how can she complain?
 

Glenski

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So you want to import secondhand (used) cars from Japan into the UK. Does that require PR? It doesn't sound like it does.
 

nice gaijin

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It also doesn't sound like the OP intends to move back to Japan, particularly if he isn't even sure he can sneak away for a brief period. What value does the PR give you, aside from maybe a fast lane at customs and immigration, and saving you the trouble of re-applying if you change your mind after it expires?
 

applepicker

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It also doesn't sound like the OP intends to move back to Japan, particularly if he isn't even sure he can sneak away for a brief period. What value does the PR give you, aside from maybe a fast lane at customs and immigration, and saving you the trouble of re-applying if you change your mind after it expires?
You may be right. But it was to get in the first place and I am thinking about the car auction thing. Having a trip back to Japan would be good for this to speak to people before dealing with the UK side. Renew it then a lot can change in 7 years before renewing it again). It will always give me the option. Who knows what life will bring?
 

applepicker

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well the ticket is five hundred and something pounds in November. girlfriend doesn't understand car importing (she's a small town girl) and doesn't understand the world and thinks it's dodgy and I will lose lots of money. She is now saying why do I want to waste money just for a week holiday. I haven't told her about extending the PR because of what she might think.
 
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