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Gaijin Gaffes

Shibuyaexpat

先輩
19 Jan 2005
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Having spent almost a year now in Japan, I've been through some seriously embarassing situations. Some of them because I'm simply an idiot and some because I didn't realize or could not initially grasp the social context. Here is one example:

"What I meant is that you smell nice!"
Sitting in a meeting next to a Japanese female colleague who is in her mid-thirties, I noticed that she smelled very nice. After a few minutes, I realized that she smelled like plums (which are my favorite scent).

Now, our conversations in the past were limited to "Konichiwa" and "arigatou gozaimasu" because of my limited Japanese and her limited English. So in an effort to break that barrier, (in my very elementary Japanese), I said (slowly), "you smell very nice." She replied graciously with a smile, "arigatou" (see what I mean about our conversations?).

Then I replied, "you smell like umeboshi."

At this, her eyes completely bugged, her back stiffened and she was preparing for Attack Formation Number 5!

She quietly and demurely responded, "Pardon me?"

Noticing that I had said something wrong, I tried to cover it with "I think plums are very nice. In fact, they're my favorite scent!"

Attack Formation Number 5 became Hulk in Mid-Rage Form (you know, the green eyes, bulging muscles). Luckily, she didn't take a swat at me and simply proceeded to look forward and make it a point that our conversation was over.

Later I find out that it is an absolute sin to comment that a women smell like umeboshi because that is a statement made in reference to an oba-san. (I still don't have a good explanation as to why)

It was only at this time, did I realize that umeboshi is NOT plum, but in fact, pickled plum. ☝
 
Love this idea for a thread

Before I went to Japan for the first time in 1986 I had taken a Japanese course and had learned very basic spoken Japanese, and only a handful of kanji that our sensei thought would be useful. 2 of the kanji we learned were male and female.... important for obvous reasons. he taught us the characters showing us how they had evolved from the original pictographs. We were all very fascinated by his explanation but somehow it didn't stick with me and I found myself on a train platform in umeda station looking for a restroom. I spotted the obvious entrances but there were no pictures on the doors only the kanji. I looked at the kanji for female and thought it seems like that looks like a man with broad shoulders and the other has that box with a cross on it might represent breasts so without much further thought I entered the wrong restroom. immediately I felt there was something wrong with the room, then it hit me.... no urinals! I turned to run out but there were female voices approaching so I ran back into a stall and closed the door. I think I waited about 15 minutes (it seemed like an eternity) until I heard no voices and ventured out of the stall and made a dash for the door. I got a few odd looks from the people standing nearby but no one said anything to the worlds reddest faced gaijin.

Under the catagory of language gaffes:

A friend of mine had only studied japanese a short time, but was very brave about experimenting with his newfound language skills. He had been studying words like itasou and samusou and was chomping at the bit to use it in real life so when a student entered with her baby he wanted to say your baby looks cute but he said: "Anata no akachan wa kawaisou desu" She asked in English "Why is that so?" and he replied "probably because you are pretty and your husband is handsom" I was laughing so hard I thought I might pass out.
 
"Anata no akachan wa kawaisou desu" -- I can test to having said this myself. :p Afterall, with the other examples, if you add "so" at the end of an adjective, you would think that it would work...My gaffe unfortunately was again to another female colleague. At this rate, I bet that they're all waiting for me to go back home 😌
 
Great idea for a thread. Believe it or not but I haven't made any gaffe worth mentioning in nearly 4 years in Japan. I guess that is because I started learning the language (incl. kanji) immediately and intensively in my first 6 months, and have a tendency to double-check everything in my electronic dictionary if I am not sure of what I am saying, or just don't say anything (except when I don't have the choice, and if I really lack the vocabulary I apologise and say that I cannot express my ideas in Japanese).
 
Shibuyaexpat said:
Then I replied, "you smell like umeboshi."

Later I find out that it is an absolute sin to comment that a women smell like umeboshi because that is a statement made in reference to an oba-san. (I still don't have a good explanation as to why)
:D :D :D :D :D ROFLMFAO! If you smell an umboshi you'll understand just why the Japanese use that reference. Do you remember what your grandmother and/or grandfather smelled like? Well I guess you get the picture! Great story! Thanks
 
TheKansaiKid said:
immediately I felt there was something wrong with the room, then it hit me.... no urinals! I turned to run out but there were female voices approaching so I ran back into a stall and closed the door. I think I waited about 15 minutes (it seemed like an eternity) until I heard no voices and ventured out of the stall and made a dash for the door. I got a few odd looks from the people standing nearby but no one said anything to the worlds reddest faced gaijin.
:D :D That must've been really embarassing! I can just imagine myself in that situation. I'd be praying no one finds me in the stall while the women were in there. Great experience. Thanks
"Anata no akachan wa kawaisou desu"
That is really funny! "I pity your baby." That's great! Thanks again

Shibuyaexpat said:
My gaffe unfortunately was again to another female colleague. At this rate, I bet that they're all waiting for me to go back home
You crack me up! Yes I really wonder what your female collegues are thinking of you! Only joking. I'm sure they understand. Anyway it's funny as hell and will give you many laughs when you look back on it in the future.

Thanks for sharing these gaffes guys, you really brightened up my day and gave me a good laugh after a rough night's driving.
 
Okay, so here's one more (God, I hope my colleague doesn't see this!):

NO! He's My Friend!!

One Friday night after a particularly fun (read excessive) nomi-kai ("drinking meeting") , a colleague friend and I were riding a crowded train home (He's the one who explained the whole umeboshi debacle).

Anyway, he asked how I was faring in Tokyo and if I had any plans for the weekend. I really didn't have any plans (and thinking that this was an invitation for us to hang out), I suggested that we should hang out if he had time. (say that 10 times fast!)

Now that's what I WANTED to say.

Somewhere between the thought and the actual words, alcohol emboldened me to try out a Japanese phrase I'd just learned. So with liquid bravado as my guide, I blurted out, "CHIKAN ARU?" (Hey, it sounds close to JIKAN! And also ALL CAPS because the train is loud)

My friend simply looked the other way.

Thinking that he couldn't hear me, I simply repeated "CHIKAN??!!" (same loudness)

He looks away, almost 180-degrees.

Thinking that still hasn't heard me, "CHIKAN??!!" (louder!)

By now, everyone's looking at my friend and I see some guys slowly moving our direction.

At this point, he quickly turns around with a stern face, jaws clenched and that loud whisper when your mother's threatening to kick your a$$ when you get home for embarassing her, he squeezes out, "IT'S JIKAN, NOT CHIKAN!"

Droopy eyed from the alcohol, I say, "yeah sure. What's the big deal?" Right at this moment, the train begins to slow and then a couple of guys bum rush us--actually my friend. Then they start yelling "CHIKAN!" And I'm like "WHAT THE HELL??!"

It took us 30 minutes to explain to the police officer that I was mispronouncing the word and that actually he's not a pervert. I still have trouble saying "time" in Japanese without letting out a smirk 😌
 
I haven't fouled quite as bad as some stories in here... its mostly the level of politeness that i screw up on, using "-san" with my name by mistake.... the usual stupid mistakes. For example I sometimes accidentally use blunt phrases in japanese to my teacher, or a person of much higher status than me... and i feel like a total retard when i get "the look" from them like im being an asshat to them.

One of my friends said to a japanese girl he liked... "anata wa totemo kirai desu yo" (he meant to say kirei (pretty/clean))... suffice to say she didn't like my friend saying that she was hated...

I've never been to japan, and all of these mistakes i have made here in the USA... i can't wait to see how badly i eff-up and make a retard out of myself when im in japan next year :p

How would I say the sentance "My japanese is very weak, so pardon my rudeness from my mistakes" the best way possible? I have a feeling i will be using this a lot...
 
My only one I can remember is calling a girl cute, using Kawai, instead of Kawaii... (always always pay attention to each sylable, duh! ;) dont have a lazy tounge)... so instead of cute, i get, crazy/scary... luckily it was a good friend...
 
Oh guys, this is so funny, what a good idea for a thread. 👍
In my second year in Japan, I went to the city tax office to fill my tax return. The first thing I did was to go to the information desk and tell this young japanese guy: ツ債絶?昶?吮?堋オ窶堙俄?藩??堙懌?堋オ窶堋スツ I'm here for the (love) declaration, instead of ツ申ツ債絶?堋オ窶堙俄?藩??堙懌?堋オ窶堋スツ the tax declaration 😌 (I chose the most easy to read in my dictionary...) , it took him a few seconds but the guy kept his cool and told me the way as if everything was ok. I became embarrassed only a few days later when I asked a friend what could have caused his strange look... 😊
 
your stories are great! i could relate well..thanks for cheering me up!
 
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