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Happyness is like peeing in your pants every one can see it but only you can fill the sinsation.


Being mature is overated be childesh while you still can and dont listen to what other have to say when telling you to grow up.
ways to find out if your are imature
#1. you spin in jiant tea cups till u puke
#2. you run and scream, I AM OVER 21 AND PLAY WITH DOLLS!
#3. you wear overalls and your hair in pig tails on the occasion
#4. you dance crazyly on the side walk to the hokky poky
#5. and the nuber one main thing, you eat nothing but sugar and other junck foods day and night

these are the main things that show you are imature and ok with it!
note: those are just the things i do hehe
The fact that no one understands you doesn't make you an artist.

When a ladder was stolen from a store the manager said that further steps would be taken

The shortest distance between two points is under construction.

I just thought of something funny...your mother.
--Cheech Marin
Honolulu - it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother.
Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.

Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger

Never tell your mom her diet's not working.

When on the ladder of success, don't let boys look up your dress! (for the ladies)
I love deadlines. I especially love the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.

Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy.
--Albert Einstein

I was so poor growing up ... if I wasn't a boy ...I'd have nothing to play with.
--Rodney Dangerfield
WHAT IF........

ya die-go to meet your maker-and it's Home Depot??



PS Not sure if this qualifies as an interlectual post??? We may be in trouble Toshi !!
Caution: The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish." -- On a bottle of shampoo for dogs.

"For external use only!" -- On a curling iron.

"Warning: This product can burn eyes." -- On a curling iron.

"Do not use in shower." -- On a hair dryer.

"Do not use while sleeping." -- On a hair dryer.

"Do not use while sleeping or unconscious." -- On a hand-held massaging device.

"Do not place this product into any electronic equipment." -- On the case of a chocolate CD in a gift basket.
you might be a red neck if..

You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree to relieve yourselves.

The most common phrase heard in your house is, "Somebody go jiggle the handle."

You've ever been kicked out of the zoo for heckling the monkeys.

Your kids take a siphon hose to "Show and Tell."

You pick your teeth from a catalog.

You can't take a nap without at least one hand tucked inside your pants.

You can entertain yourself for more than an hour with a fly swatter.

You've ever stolen toilet paper.

Your property has been mistaken for a recycling center..

You've ever plucked a nose hair with a pair of pliers.

There's an expired license plate hanging on your living room wall.

Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.

You've ever been pumping gas and another customer asks you to check his oil.

You think the Bud Bowl is real.

You consider dating second cousins as "playing the field".

You think "six to ten pounds" on the side of the Pampers box means how much the diaper will hold.

You paint your car with house paint.

Your dog goes "oink!"

You think the Nutcracker is something you did off the high dive.

Your mailbox is made out of old auto parts.

You know how to milk a goat.

You have a black eye and a hickey at the same time.

Your kids have a three-day old Kool-Aid mustache.

Your dog passes gas and you claim it.

Your TV gets 512 channels, but you go outside to use the bathroom.

You offer to give somebody the shirt off your back and they don't want it.

You've ever stood outside a bathroom and heckled someone inside.

You think toilet water is exactly that.

Your chili's secret ingredient comes from the bait shop.

Turning on your lights involves pulling a string.

You wore curlers to your wedding so you would look nice at the reception.

You have a refrigerator just for beer.

Your lawn furniture used to be your living room furniture.

You come back from the dump with more than you took.

The trunk of your car is tied down and you're not hauling anything.

You refer to the fifth grade as "my senior year."

Your wife owns a camouflage nightie.

You have orange road cones in your living room.

You can take your bra off while driving.

You consider a six pack of beer and a bug-zapper quality entertainment.

You prefer to walk the excess length off your jeans rather than hem them.

You have a tennis ball on your antenna.

You've ever worn cowboy boots with Bermuda shorts.

Your mother does not remove the Marlboro from her lips before telling the state patrolman to kiss her ***.

Directions to your house include "turn off the paved road."

You don't think baseball players spit and scratch too much.

You did not put the pink plastic flamingos in your front yard as a joke.

You rip a loud one and blame your date.

You have to dress up the kids to go to Kmart.

You have a Hefty Bag for a passenger-side window.

You've ever been too drunk to fish.

You wonder how service stations keep their bathrooms so clean.

You think the Styrofoam cooler is the greatest invention of all time.

Your Fourth of July cookout has ever been ruined because someone got drunk and burned the Spam.
PS Not sure if this qualifies as an interlectual post??? We may be in trouble Toshi !!

oky i dont want to be in trouble
Here are some jokes from the homepage of my good online friend Stardust12345678 (that's her screen name):

Your parents will notice if you dyed your hair purple.

Don't trust anyone who really knows how to give a waggie.

Cell phones and water, just don't mix.

You can't ran away from your fears, unless it's a wasp.

Don't put your tounge on a metal pole in a really cold day.

Don't try to give a bath to a rabit with a big claws.

Don't place a walkman beside a bed.

Don't fall asleep with it playing either.

Don't trow pencils in a classroom when teacher is wathing.

The best way to deal with problem is to solve it.

If you want to make a difference, get up your but and do it!

Those not acctually jokes but more of a words of wisdom by her or other people and I have some more of it if you want. 👍
man who fart in church, sit in own pew.

man who stand on toilet, high on pot.

man who drop watch in toilet, keep crappy time.
Don't play tennis by a new car.
(Hey, is it just me, or whenever I reply in topics like that someone also stats replying :? )
Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.

Man with one chopstick go hungry.

The end of the day is near when small men make long shadows.

Man who shoot off mouth, must expect to lose face.

Man who tell one too many light bulb jokes soon burn out.

Man who keep feet firmly on ground have trouble putting on pants!

He who throw dirt is losing ground.
Why is that when you're driving a car everybody who goes slower then you morons and who are going faster are maniacs?
"There is a time to be serious and a time not to be serious and this is not one of them..."
-------- Inspector Clouseau
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