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forest gump and other bits of humorous news


15 Nov 2002
Japan's fair trade folks raided Intel's office in Japan:

smart cars for stupid people:

Forest Gump joke:

> The day finally arrives; Forrest Gump dies
> and goes to Heaven. He is at the Pearly
> Gates, met by St. Peter himself. However,
> the gates are closed and Forrest
> approaches the Gatekeeper.
> St. Peter says, "Well, Forrest, it's certainly
> good to see you. We have heard a lot
> about you. I must inform you that the
> place is filling up fast, and we've been
> administering an entrance examination for
> everyone. The tests are short, but you
> have to pass them before you can get into
> Heaven."
> Forrest responds, "It shor is good to be
> here St. Peter, sir.. But nobody ever tolt
> me about any entrance exam. Shor hope
> the test ain't too hard; life was a big
> enough test as it was."
> St. Peter goes on, "Yes, I know, Forrest,
> but the test is only three questions.
> First: What days of the week begin with
> the letter T?
> Second: How many seconds are there in a
> year?
> Third: What is God's first name?"
> Forrest leaves to think the questions over.
> He returns the next day and sees St. Peter
> who waves him up and says, "Now that
> you have had a chance to think the
> questions over, tell me your answers."
> Forrest says, "Well, the first one -- how
> many days in the week begin with the
> letter "T?" Shucks, that one's easy. That'd
> be Today and Tomorrow.
> The Saint's eyes open wide and he
> exclaims, "Forrest, that's not what I was
> thinking, but, you do have a point though,
> and I guess I didn't specify, so I'll give
> you credit for that answer."
> "How about the next one?" asks St. Peter.
> "How many seconds in a year?"
> "Now that one's harder," says Forrest,
> "but I thunk and thunk about that and I
> guess the only answer can be twelve."
> Astounded, St. Peter says, "Twelve?
> Twelve? Forrest, how in Heaven's name
> could you come up with twelve seconds in
> a year?"
> Forest says "Shucks, there gotta be
> twelve: January 2nd, February 2nd, March
> 2nd..."
> Hold it," interrupts St. Peter. "I see where
> you're going with this, and I see your
> point, though that wasn't quite what I had
> in mind, but I'll have to give you credit for
> that one, too.
> Let's go on with the next and final
> question. Can you tell me God's first
> name"?
> "Sure" Forrest replied, "it's Andy."
> "Andy?" exclaimed an exasperated and
> frustrated St. Peter.
> "OK, I can understand how you came up
> with your answers to my first two
> questions, but just how in the world did
> you come up with the name of Andy as the
> first name of God?"
> "Shucks, that was the easiest one of all,"
> Forrest replied. "I learnt it from the song.
> OWN......"
> St. Peter opened the gate and said: "Run,
> Forrest, Run."
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