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Feedback on my Tangomon translation

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Can someone please look over my translations of the text in Tangomon, and let me know what I translated poorly?

This is the file defining the translations; note: "msgid" is the original English text, "msgstr" is the translation.

[GetText] Tangomon translation, take 1 - Pastebin.com

(P.S. I know it's a lot, so please feel free to only look over a portion of it if the whole thing is too much.)
 
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I should have put this in the original post. Here is the list of most important Japanese texts by themselves as they might be seen in the game. "Jane Doe" is the player's name, "Kusagon" is the player's tangomon, "Exolcon" is the enemy tangomon, "Frying Pan" is the tangoji.

ゲームの版とプリントします。
違った国語を選びます。
保存しません。(テストのために)
デルタタイミングしません。
データーのディレクトリ。(既定は、「./data」)
右と左の矢印キーを使って人物を選んでください。その後、エンターキーを押してください。
Kusagonのテストを合格した!
Kusagonのテストを失敗した!Kusagonはもうあなたに信じないから逃げる!「Frying Pan」は再びタンゴジになる。
Jane Doeは「Frying Pan」と攻撃!ダメージは43HPだ。
Jane Doeは「Frying Pan」と攻撃!ダメージは92HPだ。クリティカルヒットだ!
攻撃を失敗!正しいタンゴジの「Frying Pan」を書かなかった。
「Frying Pan」とディフェンスを成功!Exolconの攻撃のダメージを44HPに減らした。ダメージは2HPだけだ。
「Frying Pan」とディフェンスを成功!Exolconの攻撃は失敗しちゃう。
ディフェンスを失敗!正しいタンゴジの「Frying Pan」を書かなかった。Exolconは攻撃。ダメージは64HP。
合格!Exolconはチームに入った!
失敗!Exolconは逃げる。タンゴカンは再びタンゴジになる。
Kusagonは逃げている!
警報よ!この戦いから出れば、今のタンゴモンは逃げる!つまり、このタンゴモンをなくす!本当にこのタンゴモンをなくして出たいか?
タンゴカンを使ってExolconをチームに入ること説得したいか?
Exolconから新しいタンゴジを得たいか?
新しいタンゴジを得た!
タンゴジ量は3語だけから、タンゴカンを作れません。他のタンゴモンと戦って、" "もっとタンゴジを得てください。
所とタンゴモンだけリセットします。いいですか?
このセーブファイルを重ね書きする
新しいタンゴカンを作った!24時間後に活動する。その後、タンゴモンにチームに入ること説得できる。
欲しいならばこのタンゴジを変えてください。
新しいタンゴジを書いてください。
新しいタンゴジのヒントを書いてください。
新しいタンゴジを書かなければ続けない。
ゲームのシステムを始めています・・・
GUIのシステムを始めています・・・
データをロードしています・・・
ゲームを始めています・・・

Ue no tekisuto bokkusu no ji ga mienakereba, shita no tekisuto bokkusu ni, subete no mitai ji wo miseru fonto no namae wo kaite, "Fonto wo kaeru" no botan wo oshite kudasai. Hoshii nara ue no tekisuto bokkusu de kakemasu. Ii naraba "終わる" no botan wo oshite kudasai."

Nihongo no tame ni ii fonto no tatoe ha "Noto Sans CJK SC", "IPAPGothic", "IPAexGothic", "IPAGothic", "MS Gothic" desu. Yoku "Gothic" no fonto ga "Mincho" no fonto yori yasashiku miemasu.

(There's a good reason that last one is in ローマ字, by the way. I'd also be curious to know if I chose a good romanization scheme.)
 

Mike Cash

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We like to be helpful, but we don't like to be used. We're not going to be your free Japanese localization staff for your video game.
 
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Oh, okay. I didn't realize it would be taken that way. Sorry.
 

Toritoribe

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One thing I can say is that I wouldn't want to play a game with full of wrong/odd expressions...
 

mdchachi

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I've often thought about gamifying basic Japanese learning over the years but moved on to other things and never pursued it after my initial shareware ventures (basically a flash-card type of program).

I think one thing you could start with is the survival-Japanese market. Most people don't seriously attempt to learn the language but many try to quickly cram in survival skills when they go there for travel, business or other short-term adventures. So a game exposing them to critical vocabulary would be helpful for many more people. (Things like お手洗い and ビール, the top two most important things in Japan :) But in this case, the game menus etc wouldn't need to be in Japanese.

In any case, 頑張って.
 

Mike Cash

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One thing I can say is that I wouldn't want to play a game with full of wrong/odd expressions...
We could also make a drinking game out of "Beginners who can't form a basic sentence but who are creating a game/app/blog/page to teach Japanese". I swear I think that the advent of the internet has had a negative effect on the quality of Japanese learning, simply because of well-meaning cartoon fans who can't control their urge to pass their mistaken knowledge around to each other.

@OP

How about a thread with your blog entries (one at a time, please)? I think those might give us a good basis for helping you out.
 
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