What's new

Engagement customs

Mom

Registered
Joined
Apr 13, 2016
Messages
1
Reaction score
0
My son is engaged to a wonderful girl from Japan and I wanted to include some Japanese customs for their engagement party. Her parents are unable to make it. What would be acceptable?
 

Glenski

Just me
Joined
Aug 20, 2003
Messages
4,777
Reaction score
393
Have never heard of anyone here having an engagement party. My J wife and I certainly didn't have one.
 

Lothor

Sempai
Donor
Joined
Sep 26, 2015
Messages
537
Reaction score
195
Not heard of an engagement party either. Apart from a toast to the happy couple with a 'kampai!' and possibly supplying some Japanese food and drink, it may be more enjoyable for Japanese guests if you avoid too much Japanese stuff. Japanese style events tend to be rather heavy on formalities and speeches with not enough free time for partying.
I'd plan the party how you would plan any party but do discuss your plans with your future daughter-in-law, which will set a good precedent for discussing stuff with her when she is married.
 

mdchachi

Moderator
Staff member
Moderator
Joined
Mar 6, 2003
Messages
2,608
Reaction score
476
My son is engaged to a wonderful girl from Japan and I wanted to include some Japanese customs for their engagement party. Her parents are unable to make it. What would be acceptable?
This is an American party with American guests for which you want to add a Japanese touch?
If I wanted to do this, I'd probably provide some Japanese snacks and Japanese sake, beer and plum wine. And maybe a banner in Japanese that says おめでとう or something.
 

Glenski

Just me
Joined
Aug 20, 2003
Messages
4,777
Reaction score
393
Really want to be traditional? The happy couple should give back something to every gift giver, and it should be worth just under half the estimated cost of their gift. ;)
 

Mike Cash

骨も命も皆此の土地に埋めよう
Joined
Mar 15, 2002
Messages
16,454
Reaction score
2,233
If I were doing it, I would do nothing at all except what one would regularly so at one of these shindigs in America.

The way to make someone who is noticeably different from everybody else feel comfortable and accepted is not by doing or saying things that point out the difference... and all the more should the difference not be a theme or anything even resembling one.

I've spent a very large chunk of my life being a minority-of-one and the people I appreciate the most in life are those who ignore it. The people I avoid like the plague are the ones who can't seem to interact with someone different other than by focusing on the difference.
 

mdchachi

Moderator
Staff member
Moderator
Joined
Mar 6, 2003
Messages
2,608
Reaction score
476
Looks like Mom has gotten lost in the byways of the Internet. She may never find this site again.
 
Top