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Dating in Japan?

Lopan999

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What's the relationship like between the two genders in Japan?
What's dating like in Japan?
How do relationships start and end?
How do they differ from boyfriend-girlfriend relationships in American?
 

Ewok85

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Very broad questions. It does generally depend on the people.

Dating in Japan is similar to what dates I've had here.

They start with you meeting someone in the usual fashion and tend to end alot lighter than they can otherwise end (im still good friends with my old girlfriend which is great).

I'd say they differ in that things are taken more slowly.
 

Knives

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ya im pretty sure its like here in america meet the girl, take her out to a nice place, do whatever else you would think she would like, and take here home or have her go to your place depending how the date went :p
 

Emoni

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Bleh, I say the slower the better when it comes to someone who you really care about. If things going slow is common for Japanese dating, more power to it.
 

sima_yi

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I bet it is pretty hard to get a date in Japan......if I go to japan, I won't even have a Chinese Chance.....-.-
 

Ewok85

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We're talking about dating not picking up some girl at a club or eikaiwa and going places ;)
 
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I know.

But even with dating I've noticed there not as much moralcy or something surrounding things as in the west.

I'm not in an way brining up the stupid 'japanese girls are easy' falacy.

I've dated two girls in Japan (well three, but Sayaka the english language leech doesn't count). Both seemed to have no qualms about moving fast. One was touch and go because on our first date I said she couldn't come to my house for the night because I had an early start next day, and I myself didn't think it was wholy appropriate considering it was just a dinner and quite few drinks at a restaurant. She got angry. Took some time to see her again.

By our third date she was already saying I'm her boyfriend.
 

Lopan999

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How many of you are Japanese? Probably none, right? So I wonder if it's just that Japanese girls take it slow with foreigners because they're shy or something.
 

Emoni

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... Aren't you the guy who just asked the questions? Everyone here is just telling you what they can, that is all they can do. The way you say this sounds like "slow" wasn't quite the response you were hoping to hear.
 

Lopan999

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Thanks to you all much for answering my question.
I wasn't trying to be antagonistic with my last remark.
I was simply trying to segue the conversation, or atleast extend it.

All I was saying is that: it seems to me that all of these accounts posted in this thread (of relationships) might be different then that of a relationship between two japanese people.
 

Emoni

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Oh ok. It came off a bit... different in your last post :D

Yes, I would assume just through common sense that (real) relationships might go slower between two people that are not of the same culture due to caution. However, that would be a bit difficult to judge and measure... I can only go on a guess here.
 
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In the end its all dependent on the couple, the girl, the situation.

Eg a Japanese girl tahts lived a year or two over-seas might have slightly different dating perceptions to a rural somewhat sheltered Japanese girl.

Also theres a lot of foreign TV etc here. Many students have professed to liking Felicity here (SPEW) and their perceptions of how Nihonjin/Gaijin relations are taken may be based of there.
 

Saria

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sima_yi said:
I bet it is pretty hard to get a date in Japan......if I go to japan, I won't even have a Chinese Chance.....-.-
what's that supposed to mean?
 
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I had the idea that Lopan was asking about relationships between Japanese partners (which are, of course, the overwhelming majority of relationships in Japan), not international relationships in which one partner is Japanese. Did I misunderstand?

If not, then this sort of thing might be of interest:

USATODAY.com - No sex please we're Japanese

How true it is, I don't know. Someone who knows Japan better than I do may have an opinion.
 

Lopan999

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Chikazukiyasui, I realy enjoyed that article. Thanks much.
 

Ewok85

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I would agree with half of that article, a good read nonetheless.
 
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