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27 Aug 2003
Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0
and noticed a slowdown in the overall performance, particularly in the
flower and jewelry applications that had operated flawlessly under
Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other
valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal
Attention 6.5, but installed undesirable programs such
as NFL 5.0 and NBA 3.0. And now Conversation 8.0 no
longer runs and House Cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the

I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems,
but to no avail. What can I do?

Signed, Desperate

Dear Desperate:

First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment
package, while Husband 1.0 is an operation system.
Try entering the command C:\ I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME
and download Tears 6.2 to install Guilt 3.0. If all
works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then
automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and
Flowers 3.5.

But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default
to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1.
Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will create
Snoring Loudly.Wav files.

Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-In-Law 1.0 or
reinstall another Boyfriend program. These are not
supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it
does have a limited memory and cannot learn new
applications quickly. You might consider additional
software to improve memory and performance.

I personally recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Lingerie 6.0.

Good Luck, Tech Support
Great piece of advice. Perfect comprehension of cybernetics. Did you create it yourself ?
No, I'm afraid not. It was a joke that was passed around over the internet about a year ago. Most of these that I have posted are about 1-2 years old, but still worthy of a few laughs. :) Glad you're enjoying them!
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