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Check my translation

Charles Barkley

TNT Basketball Analyst
14 Jun 2007
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I've seen some bad リンダリンダ translations around and wanted to make a decent one, so I would like some input. I am not trying for a literal translation; rather the goal is to put the same content into decent sounding English that won't make people immediately think "translation!" Anyway, here goes (I removed all duplicate bits):

ドブネズミみたいに美しくなりたい
I want to be beautiful like a water rat
写真にはうつらない美しさがあるから
Because there's a beauty photos can't capture.
リンダリナンダ リンダリンダリンダ (repeat)
Linda Linda…

もしも僕がいつか君と出会い話し合うなら
If we meet again sometime
そんな時はどうか愛の意味を知ってください
I hope you'll have learned what love means.
リンダリナンダ リンダリンダリンダ (repeat)
Linda Linda..

ドブネズミみたいに誰よりもやさしい
Like a water rat, gentler than anyone
ドブネズミみたいに何より暖かく
Like a water rat, warmer than anything
リンダリナンダ リンダリンダリンダ (repeat)

愛じゃなくても恋じゃなくても君を離しはしない
Even if you won't love me, even if you won't be with me, I will never leave you.
決して負けない強い力を僕は一つだけ持つ
You're the only thing I will never give up on.


The last line was giving me a bit of pain, largely because of the couple translations I found, sadly this was the best one:

"I hold only the strong power that cannot be beaten."

Both translations seemed to say "Only me" or "only I" focusing the only on the singer (though the above one, literally, seems to say that he is filled entirely with that strong power and excludes no other feelings), but that does not seem to fit at all with the Japanese, which I would translate literally as something like:

"I possess only one power so strong that I will never accept defeat."

i.e., maybe there are a lot of things in the speakers life that he doesn't care so much about, or that he is willing to give up on. However, there is one, and only one thing, his feelings towards Linda, that is so strong he will never give up.

That was the basis for my translation of the last line, which I think fits my above description.

Anyway, comments?
 
もしも僕がいつか君と出会い話し合うなら
If we meet again sometime
Although this doesn't say to me in any way that a meeting has already happened. :?

決して負けない強い力を僕は一つだけ持つ
You're the only thing I will never give up on.
I don't know where these lines originated, but just as a basic translation 負けない doesn't seem most appropriate for "won't give up on" unless the implication becomes direct confrontation with a force attempting to break their relationship, such as the woman herself ?

負けられない may be better if you're trying to convey the idea of "cannot be defeated" or 負けを認められない for "won't admit defeat on" etc. That is not even to change the verb proper but if 負ける could somehow be reconjugated...
 
Just to make sure that you did not mistake me, I am translating from the Japanese to the English.

Although this doesn't say to me in any way that a meeting has already happened. :?

That is a good point. It seemed to me like the singer and リンダ had to have met some time from the general text of the song, but maybe not. Good point.


It seemed like you had what I was doing here reversed, but anyway, give up on seems vague, in that it could be romantic, yet it could just be a general desire to protect, a feeling you would have towards a close friend.
 
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