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Can somebody rate my calligraphy?

Batsu

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Can somebody rate my calligraphy? I dont really care about the rating. I just want to see my mistakes.
 

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Batsu

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Btw, my post had been moved because of hijacking and necroposting. I understand the necroposting but I dont really get the hijacking.
Should I write here from now on?
 

Lothor

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Btw, my post had been moved because of hijacking and necroposting. I understand the necroposting but I dont really get the hijacking.
Should I write here from now on?
Yes, please do if they are about calligraphy.
 
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I understand the necroposting but I dont really get the hijacking.
"Hijacking" a thread means changing the topic from the intended one to the one you want to talk about.
I don't know where you posted, but it apparently was not a thread about your calligraphy practice.

Should I write here from now on?
On this topic, yes.

If you have a different subject you want to talk about or ask about then that should go in a place appropriate for it.


Edit: I should have used fewer words, or not gone to get a seltzer, since a more succinct answer appeared before mine...
 

Batsu

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I dont know if I should ask here, but since a do calligraphy with a brush pen, I have been having some difficulties with holding it in the right way. Should I hold it like a pen or...
 

Toritoribe

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The way to hold a pen is the same, but you need to stand it closer to upright, comparing to pen/pencil. You can find tutorial videos on YouTube.

 

Batsu

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Can you please rate it?
 

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Toritoribe

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Before answering your new question, did you read our replies so far? Any response?
 

Batsu

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Did I do something wrong again? I read everything. They said I could write here.
 

Toritoribe

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Yes, you shouldn't hesitate to acknowledge people who helped you. They spent their time to help you. So, when getting replies to your questions, it is polite to acknowledge them and tell at least if you understood it or not.

Can you please rate it?
Ninben is not bad.
 

Batsu

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Thank you for the rating and sorry for the impoliteness.
 

Batsu

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And overall? How is my calligraphy? More like, where are my mistakes? Sorry for the disturbance.
 

Toritoribe

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There is no mistake. It's just the problem of "beauty".
 

Majestic

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Let me give it a go:
1. Vertical strokes for the "kusa" part are too slanted.
2. Third stroke of the "kusa" part is way too right-angled. The brush is laid on the paper so that the brush hairs are laying horizontally, but there oughtn't to be an actual sideways line.
3. The bottom line of the middle part of 夢 looks unusual, like you stopped midway and then started again. Or, maybe it just gives this impression because the vertical strokes above it poke down into the area where the horizontal stroke should be.
4. The 夢 part is floating in the air. The bottom part of the 夕 should be aligned with the bottom part of the ninben. Or, it can be even more pronounced than the ninben, but never smaller or floating higher than the bottom of the ninben.
As it is, the whole thing is dominated by the ninben, so it is lacking in balance.

Majestic (a non-calligrapher, whose kanji artistry is appalling).

Hakanai.jpg
 

Batsu

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Thank you so much for the detailed explanation! Thank you both!
 

Batsu

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Is it better now?
 

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Toritoribe

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Yes, that's better than before. Just for confirmation, do you mean 筆 by "brush pen", not 筆ペン? Or, are you using bold-type brush pen?
 

Batsu

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Thanks for the confirmation and no, I drew this with a regular calligraphy brush. I do have a 筆ペン, medium size but in this case I used a big brush.
 

nice gaijin

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Already looking better; keep at it and your art will improve. Practice is the stream that polishes the stone.
 

Majestic

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Much better than before. I liked your ninben on the first one better, but overall, in both balance and skill, the second one is much better. Avoid the lumpiness of some of the strokes. The circles in red show lumps where there shouldn't be any. It makes it look slightly "boney". And the place where I circled in yellow looks like your brush ran out of ink in a place where it is not aesthetically pleasing for it to run out of ink. Anyway, this is nitpicking.

The downstrokes, where you place your brush so that the bristles/hairs lay horizontally, and then stroke downward, look very good and confident in this one. It is a hard thing to do well.
hakanai2.jpg
 

Toritoribe

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I drew this with a regular calligraphy brush.
I see. I thought you were using 筆ペン from the impression of your initial picture. Then, the ways of holding and writing are different from 筆ペン, which is explained in the videos I linked previously. The following video might be relatively easy to understand (all in Japanese, though).


As you can see, the biggest difference from 筆ペン is that your hand should be in the air. Your wrist is not touched on the paper. Also, don't flex your wrist. Write with your whole arm, or sometimes as if with your whole body by moving with your shoulder or back. (This was told by my teacher at the beginning of my calligraphy class in high school, yes, a long time ago.)

I think your "lumpiness", which Majestic-san pointed out, might be caused by a wrong way of writing.
 

Batsu

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Thank you for the review and the calligraphy rating! Also can please you rate this?
 

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