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Business Verbiage

bobbybaker

後輩
2 Apr 2018
13
0
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Hi everyone,

So every year we reach out local vendors for my college's Campus Fair to see if they can donate in-kind donations such as snacks, supplies, or services for free or at a discounted rate (if it's within our budget)

There were a few vendors who reached out to sell us a few items and we wanted to know how to say this:

"Unfortunately, we are a club fully funded through students, and are unable to provide a compensation for the item. Thank you for your consideration."

ご連絡ありがとうございます。残念ですが学生から寄付金で集めたクラブなので商品を払えません。

Does this sound okay?
 
I don't think 残念 works well there. Try あいにく instead.

You don't 払う a 商品, you 払う a 商品代

寄付金 is inappropriate. Try 会費 instead. (会費のみで運営するクラブ)

"Verbiage", not "verbage".

You're at college in America but you're having to deal with monolingual Japanese vendors?
 
I don't think 残念 works well there. Try あいにく instead.

You don't 払う a 商品, you 払う a 商品代

寄付金 is inappropriate. Try 会費 instead. (会費のみで運営するクラブ)

"Verbiage", not "verbage".

You're at college in America but you're having to deal with monolingual Japanese vendors?

Thank you for your reply

ご連絡ありがとうございます。あいにくですが学生から会費のみで運営するクラブなので商品代を払えません。

As for the monolingual company, we would actually contact a local vendor here but there are times that we are referred to the main branch depending on the items we solicit (in Japan). I hope that makes sense
 
ご連絡ありがとうございます。あいにくですが学生から会費のみで運営するクラブなので商品代を払えません。
It's understandable enough. Here's a little bit revised version.

ご連絡ありがとうございます。あいにくですが、学生からの会費のみで運営するクラブですので代金をお支払いすることができません。申し訳ありません。
 
It's understandable enough. Here's a little bit revised version.

ご連絡ありがとうございます。あいにくですが、学生からの会費のみで運営するクラブですので代金をお支払いすることができません。申し訳ありません。

Thank you! I had already sent out the message but I have saved your revised version for future templates.
 
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