What's new

Being helpful/nice vs rude/nasty, guidelines for dummies plus discussion!

KirinMan

後輩
23 Jan 2007
2,113
68
58
What guidelines do you follow when replying to people who come across as having a chip on their shoulder but don't realize it themselves? How do you respond?
 
Maybe I think about it the wrong way , BUT.....

I think of a website like a business with members as customers. And that old saying about the customer always being right makes me bite my toungue when disagreeing with other members. Sometimes they come across bad because of language issues from using a dictionary or on-line translator , I feel give them a break. Sometimes they have crazy ideas from TV, movies , books, or friends ; I feel re-educate them , don't attack them. Usually the true trolls or trouble makers show themselves early on and I don't feel bad to see them go. I find it a bit ironic that a Japanese website often lacks the politeness we think about in Japan?
New members are not without fault though. I sometimes wish they would take a week and read many of our old posts and threads before they post for the first time. Sweeping generalizations about Japan , Japanese language , and Japanese people learned from anime , etc. , should be obvious , and avoided. Trying to educate them about their incorrect beliefs probably does not work with personal attacks against them; they leave and take their incorrect info with them?
Even though it might break my back to do it , I will try to bend over backwards to be nice to new members.

Uncle Frank

:?
 
I think of a website like a business with members as customers. And that old saying about the customer always being right makes me bite my toungue when disagreeing with other members. Sometimes they come across bad because of language issues from using a dictionary or on-line translator , I feel give them a break. Sometimes they have crazy ideas from TV, movies , books, or friends ; I feel re-educate them , don't attack them. Usually the true trolls or trouble makers show themselves early on and I don't feel bad to see them go. I find it a bit ironic that a Japanese website often lacks the politeness we think about in Japan?
New members are not without fault though. I sometimes wish they would take a week and read many of our old posts and threads before they post for the first time. Sweeping generalizations about Japan , Japanese language , and Japanese people learned from anime , etc. , should be obvious , and avoided. Trying to educate them about their incorrect beliefs probably does not work with personal attacks against them; they leave and take their incorrect info with them?
Even though it might break my back to do it , I will try to bend over backwards to be nice to new members.

Uncle Frank

:?

I agree on the point you make about remaining patient and open minded when you're aware the other party doesnt speak the same native language as you and may not be deliberately attemtping to be hostile etc. When I get insulted I do usually check their profiles if I see USA or UK I can tell theres a good chance they speak English as a native and mean to come across exactly as they do. People who have seemed rude who I've recognised as not speaking English as a first language I'm always far more accomodating and patient with, indeed I've stuck up for such people on more than one occasion.
 
Just because someone comes from one place or another is no guarantee that they are native speakers of that language. Also there are plenty of so called native speakers of English that can NOT write a sentence to save themselves and they come across like an ESL student because their spelling and grammar stink as well. It is never safe to assume anything from a persons profile.


Also just because someone may be a native English speaker it is better to ask what someone means than to assume that what they wrote had any other ulterior meaning, the read between the lines thing.
 
Back
Top Bottom