What's new

Welcome to Japan Reference (JREF) - the community for all Things Japanese.

Join Today! It is fast, simple, and FREE!

American woman/ Japanese man

manekineko2

Kouhai
Joined
22 Jun 2003
Messages
7
Reaction score
0
It seems common to me to see Western men falling in love with and marrying Asian women. I have never (to my knowledge) seen it the other way around. I am an American woman who is engaged to a man from Tokyo. I met him online and fell in love with him the second that I saw his picture. We later talked, and have since met. I am going to Japan in a few weeks, and I am really excited. My parents are both deceased, so there is no problem with him requesting permission to marry me. My sister is sceptical. My niece is excited for me. Everybody else just plain doesn't understand. Before I met my fiance, I had practically given up on men. American men did not treat me very well. They lacked commitment, understanding and were more concerned with the ten pounds extra on my body than what was in my head or in my heart. That was no so when I met my fiance. Interestingly enough, I am five feet tall, so he was still taller than me--a real concern with many Western women.

My main question is this: We are undecided if he should move to the US or me to Japan. I may be able to get an English teaching job, but I have a house here in the US. His apartment in Tokyo is tiny. I feel that he would be able to get a job here, but he is terrified. It would be a different culture and language for whichever one of us made the change. I am susceptible to his fears of being put into a different environment. I am currently learning the Japanese language. He already speaks English. Do you think that it would be better for him to move or for me? Which one of us would have better luck seeking employment and making the necessary transition?

Also, do you recommend getting married in the US or Japan? I was told that if I were to take the paperwork to the US consulate in Tokyo, it would take half the time. If he were to come here on a fiance visa, he would have three months to do some sightseeing, get to know me better and line up employment. I have some Japanese contacts that would be willing to assist him.

My preference, actually, is for him to come here for about five to ten years, invest in yen, sell my home and retire to Japan, but it is a mutual decision.😊 Doesn't this "smiley" look like Qoo?
 

Himura

Hadoken!!!!!
Joined
19 Jun 2003
Messages
642
Reaction score
1
US woman and JAP man?? -Hey, why not? I would move to Japan without any doubts.... 👏
 

kirei_na_me

Where I'm Supposed to Be
Joined
31 Jan 2003
Messages
4,823
Reaction score
162
Hello manekineko2! I'm married to a Japanese man and have been for 6 years now.

As for my situation, I met my husband at work. He came here from Aichi prefecture back in '95 with his company to set up shop here. We married and now have 3 children and we decided to settle here in the US, and will probably never go to Japan to live, as he's a lot happier here.

Which part of the country are you in? Do you have any Japanese companies around nearby where he could get a job? Is he very interested in coming here to live?

I'd like to talk to you more about this sometime. There are plenty of us out there that are married to Japanese guys. I have a group on Yahoo for women like us and am a member of a couple of others.

Feel free to PM me sometime! :)
 

mdchachi

Moderator
Moderator
Joined
6 Mar 2003
Messages
4,454
Reaction score
1,824
As knm says, it's not unheard of for Japanese guys to marry western women but the reverse situation is much more common.

Have you been to Japan before? If not, I suspect you might find it harder for you to adjust to living over there than it would be for him to adjust to living in the U.S. And, long term, you are likely to achieve a better standard of living in the U.S. Actually even short-term this is likely to be true since in Japan your husband is likely to work longer hours and be at home less.

If you plan to have kids, take time to feel out his attitudes on the subject. I know second hand of a less-than-happily-married American to a Japanese. She says she's a single mother living with a Japanese husband. In other words, he apparently has practically nothing to do with his kids.

Best of luck to you.
 

manekineko2

Kouhai
Joined
22 Jun 2003
Messages
7
Reaction score
0
Thank you

Thank you to everybody who has replied. I am going to see him in a few weeks. We will work out some more details. The most important thing is that we are all happy.

🙂
 

kirei_na_me

Where I'm Supposed to Be
Joined
31 Jan 2003
Messages
4,823
Reaction score
162
mdchachi is right. In Japan, it's not unusual for the men to stay out until midnight every night--give or take. I knew I couldn't deal with that having children. Also, I knew I couldn't deal with having just a balcony and concrete as a place for them to play and am not too fond of living practically on top of lots of other people. That's just my personal opinion, though, and we know about opinions...

mdchachi, is your friend that you mentioned living in Japan or the US? I hear that same kind of story all the time. I even have that problem myself sometimes, but not nearly as much as someone actually living there, I know.
 

mdchachi

Moderator
Moderator
Joined
6 Mar 2003
Messages
4,454
Reaction score
1,824
knm, my story is about somebody in Japan. My friend met this American woman in the hospital as they were both giving birth to their second or third child at the same time.
 

manekineko2

Kouhai
Joined
22 Jun 2003
Messages
7
Reaction score
0
This may sound like a foolish question. If so, I apologize in advance. What DO Japanese men do when they stay out until midnight? Work, chat with male friends or work acquaintances, drink, women....etc...? I am just curious. I am aware that Japanese men usually do not bring their wives to work functions. I have heard that sometimes they can be very formal. However, I just took a train ride to Florida from Virginia. There was a middle-aged Japanese couple on the train. No. Nobody told me that they were Japanese, but sometimes you can tell. They were reticent, but I could tell that he was really devoted to his wife. They held hands in the train station (eki). I thought that it was so sweet. Since I live in Florida, I go to Disney a lot. It seems to be the popular long-distance honeymoon/ vacation spot amongst the Japanese--especially the Japanese pavilion at EPCOT. Home away from home. They even have a Mistukoshi there. I digress. But, they seem quiet, a bit on the conservative side compared to Americans, but really caring and gentle. This is a refreshing treat from my ex-husband (Latino), who was always there and very abusive. I have been told that it is difficult to get to know the Japanese, but if you do, you have found a treasure if you do. I still need to get to know my fiance better to know his views on many things, but I am looking forward to that.
 

mdchachi

Moderator
Moderator
Joined
6 Mar 2003
Messages
4,454
Reaction score
1,824
How very naive -- that Japanese couple you saw weren't married. They were carrying on an affair and taking an illicit overseas trip together. I'm just being cynical. You were probably right. I hope so anyway! ;-)

As for staying out until midnight. There are a couple of reasons for this. One is that some people literally work until midnight. Or they might work until 9, 10 or 11, take their hour+ train ride home and get home very late. Working these kinds of hours is far more common than you can possibly imagine. The other reason is that many people socialize with their coworkers -- either because they enjoy it or out of obligation. So they will work until quitting time (7, 8 or 9) go out for dinner and a few drinks. And, therefore, not be home until near midnight. Of course there are exceptions to the rule but this is more common than not. Considering the unusual way you met your fiance, I would expect him to be an exception to some of these typical behaviors. But if you live in Japan it may be difficult to have him home at a "normal" time if everybody else he works with works typical hours.
 

kirei_na_me

Where I'm Supposed to Be
Joined
31 Jan 2003
Messages
4,823
Reaction score
162
*sigh*

The Japanese work ethic. I could write a book, I think.

Most of them stay out of obligation, thinking they have to stay and hang out with their co-workers. You know, the "nail that sticks up is hammered down" syndrome. Doing what's expected of them so not to make waves.

That was one of the main reasons my husband decided to live here instead of going back to Japan. He is much more relaxed now than he was when he was in Japan. He still has unbelievable responsibilites at work, but he is not expected to put in those insanely long hours. He rarely comes home after 7 p.m. now, whereas in Japan, he was usually getting home around 1 a.m.
 

manekineko2

Kouhai
Joined
22 Jun 2003
Messages
7
Reaction score
0
The work ethic

I think that you are right. I am learning to speak Japanese. The way that they introduce themselves to each other is, for example, "Mitsubishi ginkuno Matsumoto Yuji" They identify the company that they work with more than their own family name. When we discussed him moving here, he wanted to make sure that he could get a job right away. I live in Florida. If it were me, I would want to make sure that we could go to Disney right away--then look for work. Oh well, I'm a gaijin.

:D :p
 

manekineko2

Kouhai
Joined
22 Jun 2003
Messages
7
Reaction score
0
Ok. I have had some time to think about this. Maybe they do work a lot, but this work ethic that they have is what has made their country what it is. That is nothing to be ashamed of. It can be lonely at times, if you are waiting for them at home alone.

Some men, gamble, drink, play with women. So, they work a lot. I would rather do that. There are way worse problems than that.
 

tasuki

先輩
Joined
22 Apr 2003
Messages
349
Reaction score
2
If I may pitch in my two cents...

I've married a Japanese woman, and I live and work in Tokyo, thus falling into the "Western man/Japanese woman" pattern.

I think that all the points made by mdchachi and kirei na mei are valid. Living in North America or Europe is in the long run more rewarding, if you are not a workaholic.

Coming to Japan for a time to get to know your fiance is a great idea, though. You'd get to see him in his "natural habitat", so to speak, which would not be the case in America. Plus, I find that working the English teaching beat is good for that. Working as an English conversation teacher for an extended period is not feasible, I think. Also, the English conversation industry is somewhat faltering at the moment, people having less money to spend on frivolous things such as studying a foreign language (the economy being what it is).

The Japanese work ethic also applies to foreigners. As long as you are working in an English school, you will not be required to do anything but "your time" and to attend a few school functions. In a Japanese company, foreigner or no, you will be judged by how much time you put in, just like your other co-workers. Personally, I think that you are expected to do more than your Japanese counterparts exactly because you're a foreigner. Anyway, it was that way for me and other people I know. I don't usually get home before 20:00 and I leave "early". To make up for it, I come in to work early in the morning.

Oh, and about investing in yen... I'd keep my investments in US dollars... The Japanese economy is not quite the place to invest at the moment...

Yet, no matter where you decide to settle in the end, it is going to be a strain... at first. It has been for me and my wife. If it's not the language, it's work or maybe the dependence that one of you is bound to develop toward the other for official things and such, of which there are a multitude in Japan for foreigners. Whether you iron it out or not is a sign of the strength of your relationship. I can tell you that me and my wife had more than a few ups and downs related to language only...

I really hope things work out for you. I really sympathise with your situation as we've decided to move back to Canada once our first is born. It's going to be a huge step, so I can very well imagine what you're feeling...
 

mdchachi

Moderator
Moderator
Joined
6 Mar 2003
Messages
4,454
Reaction score
1,824
Some men, gamble, drink, play with women. So, they work a lot. I would rather that. There are way worse problems than that.

Well these other types of guys are in Japan too. Plenty of all kinds to go around.
 

Zade

後輩
Joined
30 Jun 2003
Messages
12
Reaction score
0
I could understand that he would be frightened due to the culture change, but the door swings both ways, wouldn't you kind of feel strange in an environment where you had a rough time to communicate?

Its really your call, you guys should probably talk about it a bit more, make a list of pros and cons.👍
 

manekineko2

Kouhai
Joined
22 Jun 2003
Messages
7
Reaction score
0
I will be going there soon. It may work. It may not. No matter what, it should be an experience and a chance to grow.
👏
 

Jan

Registered
Joined
8 May 2003
Messages
2
Reaction score
0
Post # 9 voiced my first thoughts exactly. Cynical yes, but Japanese men aren`t very physically affectionate. But they seem to have fun with their girlfriends.

I too am an american married to a Japanese (with 3 kids) we live in Japan. I know several "international" families. Many with problems, but also many "same culture" families have problems. Every situation is unique and you need to get to
know your guy, figure out for yourselves what is best for you.
 

Elizabeth

先輩
Joined
22 Apr 2003
Messages
9,525
Reaction score
132
Originally posted by mdchachi
How very naive -- that Japanese couple you saw weren't married. They were carrying on an affair and taking an illicit overseas trip together. I'm just being cynical. You were probably right. I hope so anyway! ;-)

As for staying out until midnight. There are a couple of reasons for this. One is that some people literally work until midnight. Or they might work until 9, 10 or 11, take their hour+ train ride home and get home very late. Working these kinds of hours is far more common than you can possibly imagine.
I can vouch for my boyfriend in Tokyo as well, who generally works until 10 or 11, doesn't actually get to sleep until after 2, is up again at 7 every morning and in the office by 9. Often working both Saturday and Sunday (or at least one of these) as well. All without compensation, in the guise of "service overtime," of course. And I'm quite content to be in touch via email at the moment :).
 

budd

先輩
Joined
10 Jul 2003
Messages
2,013
Reaction score
18
i have heard that women do not have the same rights
that they do elsewhere ???
while in kyoto i met a lady working a curio/souvenir/omiyage shop
we talked for a while -- she had spent ten years in england -- about her family, she has three children and an english husband that is teaching same, and the world in general
it kind of depressed me
 

thomas

Unswerving cyclist
Admin
Joined
14 Mar 2002
Messages
11,859
Reaction score
3,229
Here's a related commentary published by Japan Today:

Why so few Western women with Japanese men?​


Sian Thatcher

Why is it that men come over from the West and get married to Japanese girls, while girls come over and just get frustrated? When it comes to love in Japan, the guys become heroes, revered by all and sundry, whereas the women are repeatedly ignored.

Over the last three decades, there has been a sharp increase in the number of international marriages in Japan. In 1970, there were only 5,546 international marriages, compared to 36,263 in 2000. In many of these cases, the groom was Japanese, but the bride was usually from neighbouring Asian countries. When the bride was Japanese, Americans ranked high on the list of husbands.

Japan is clearly opening its marital doors to foreign cultures, but apparently not to women from the Western hemisphere. This is conclusively shown in the results of the Vital Statistics of Japan yearly survey carried out by the Ministry of Health, Labor and Welfare (MHLW).

In 2000, just 202 American women married Japanese, compared with 1,483 American men. In 2001 it was a similar story, 175 women from the States married Japanese, compared with 1,416 American guys. Western women marrying Japanese are always vastly outnumbered by Western men.

For the Japanese, trends are rapidly changing — the young, opting out of the arranged marriages as provided by the family, are standing up for themselves, going the way of the Western individualist and choosing the "love marriage," the buzz word of the moment being "choice."

While all this is going on, the question has to be, why aren't many choosing Western women? The existence of web sites titled "The interracial dating guide for Japanese men" suggests that there is a desire on the part of the Japanese male to meet Western women. With tips such as "Cut your hair shorter on the side, leaving it longer on top to make you appear taller," it's not surprising how few couples are formed.

Girls missing the point

By the same token, women from the West seem to be attracted to Japanese guys, but rarely in a relationship with them. In a land where the signs are so subtle, and giving someone a knitted jumper can indicate a wish to marry, and inquiring as to whether or not you can cook actually means "let's go out on a date," Western girls may just be missing the point.

In the same way, Japanese guys are possibly being hit on time and again without realizing it. Is a lesson in international dating etiquette all that is necessary to get a Western woman and a Japanese man on a date?

A range of people, single Western women, single Japanese men and a few mixed couples gave their valuable insights into the matter.

Stephanie Gartelmann, a freelance editor from Australia, had this to say: "My theory, which is gleaned from contemporary social studies books, is that women are social climbers by nature and they go for men who can offer them more of what they want, whether it's romance, a better life, more money, etc. To Japanese women, Western men represent this 'better' existence; hence they find Western men very desirable. But to Western women, Japanese men have not represented 'more.' Rather, they've represented a more suffocating family life, more conservative values, a less adventurous lifestyle, less gallantry and so on.

"Statistically, in Japan, more Japanese men are married to foreign women than Japanese women married to foreign men, but most of these foreign wives are Asian, not Western. Obviously, to Asian women Japanese men do have a lot to offer."

Andrea Boyes, is a teacher from Canada. This is her third year in Japan and she has had a few relationships with Japanese men. A real fan of Japanese guys, she thinks Western women should try to be more understanding.

Western women lack patience

"Most Western women lack the patience for a relationship with a Japanese man. I think they end up getting frustrated and just give up. Japanese guys don't talk as much as Western guys, which can be difficult for us as we are taught the importance of communication at home.

"Also, relationships need maintenance and Japanese guys don't provide it. They put their jobs, families, and hobbies above their girlfriends and back away when you place demands on them. Western girls won't put up with it." Andrea suggests perseverance.

"However, there are plenty of good ones out there. They are not as aggressive as Western guys and are not as poorly endowed as the myth states. I have always been totally satisfied. To be honest, I'm starting to think that Western guys are the ones lacking. I don't know if I could go back to white guys."

What do the Japanese men think? Do they find Western women loud and obnoxious? Quite the contrary, in fact. They agreed with much of what the women said and were surprisingly self-deprecating.

Masahiro Katafuchi, a civil servant, doesn't believe Western women are interested in Japanese men. "When I was younger I didn't want to go out with foreign women because my English wasn't very good. I couldn't explain myself well and thought I would just be tiresome. I think relationships between Japanese men and Western women are rare because Japanese men, certainly the older generation at least, are very passive, uncommunicative and have many negative traits. I don't think Western women want to date us."

Shinya Fujino has never dated a Western woman but would like to because he thinks almost all of them look very "cute and hot." A student at Nagoya City University, Shinya had some interesting insights and opinions as to why relationships between Western women and Japanese men are rare.

"I think it's because some Japanese guys are a little childish. When I talk to a Western girl I sometimes feel like I were a 15-year-old boy. I feel that Western girls come across as being very adult. This seems to work to the advantage of the Western guy. They seem more mature, so Japanese girls are attracted to them."

Shinya goes on to say, "I also think it's because Japanese guys are too small. It's very unusual for the girl to be taller than her boyfriend. I think intercultural relationships would be great for studying each others language and culture deeply, but there are downsides. If the foreign person leaves Japan, it would force the relationship to break up."

Yukio Kuhara, a businessman, says, "I haven't dated anyone from another country but I think about it all the time. I watch TV and see pretty girls like Buffy (Sarah Michelle Gellar), and dream of them. I want to meet foreign women but have no chance in my everyday life. In general, I think Japanese men are interested in Western girls and want to talk to them, but, when they do see them, are too shy to do so."

Some stereotypes seem to be true

So it seems that the stereotypes are true, in part at least. Japanese guys are insecure and need more confidence, and women from the West are challenging. However, from what the interviewees revealed, in general, Western girls do desire Japanese guys and vice versa, but one of the parties needs to initiate the proceedings. Once you have overcome the initial cultural barriers and have found someone you really like, how easy is it to keep the relationship going?

Some experts, couples who have been in relationships for years tell us what they really think, the secrets of intercultural relationships that you always wanted to know but were afraid to ask. They answered the question, "Why are relationships between Western women and Japanese men so rare?"

Mairi and Koichi Araki, together for 11 years, married for three, had some perceptive insights. Koichi, a businessman, says, "I always thought Western girls were more demanding. I think that is what puts most men off. They would rather be pampered. For example, I spoke to a Japanese couple recently. After they got married, he gained 10 pounds as he didn't have to do anything anymore. Japanese girls are more mothering. In our relationship, I can't be lazy. Western women expect more than Japanese women. They want you to do things like open doors for them. Japanese guys realize that if they want a Western woman they can't be lazy. Personally, I think it's worth the effort."

Mairi, from Scotland, says, "The most difficult thing about an international marriage is that one of you has to live in a country that's not your own. I think some Western women have put off relationships with Japanese men because of that."

Sarah and Koji Umetsu, married for 10 years, discussed cultural difficulties they have encountered. Sarah, a narrator and translator from Southampton, England, says, "Cultural difficulties occur more with the way in which Japanese society responds to our relationship than between the two of us. There are some issues where we agree to disagree (whales, war and whatnot), but I wouldn't describe these as difficulties. One reason I think these relationships are rare is that there are a lot of Western women who just don't find Japanese men attractive and even fewer who consider them 'marriage material.'"

Sarah discusses the positive aspects of her relationship, "In a cross-cultural relationship your partner has the ability to show you a different way of perceiving and reacting to society and the world in general, a new way of thinking that you may find difficult to agree with, but is, nevertheless, an alternative to what you may have been programmed to experience."

Susan and Koh Annoura have been married for almost nine years. Susan, a Love FM DJ from Texas, described why she thought there are few relationships like hers. "To put it simply, just living here is tough for Western women, and this is why I think they don't want to stay, and hence why they don't form serious relationships with Japanese men."

The Texan DJ gave advice to people considering engaging in an intercultural relationship, "Make sure you love, I mean really love each other. If you do, you will think about what makes the other person happy and sad, or stressed out and relieved. In the end, you can always find a way to make it work out."

Jennifer Brown-Konishi is an American living in Japan with her Japanese husband, Shigeo, and their daughter, Ahmee Isabella. In 2001 she founded the Foreign Wives Club, an online community designed to offer information, resources, and support to women in bicultural marriages around the world. She gave her advice to those thinking about making a bicultural relationship more permanent.

"Be open and honest, but be careful of language and cultural barriers, especially when addressing sensitive issues or fighting. You will have to take the time to help your spouse communicate what they are thinking in their non-native language. Lots of serious blowouts can be avoided by doing this. Be clear before marriage about what expectations there will be, especially if you will be living away from your home country.

"Cultivate good relations with your mother-in-law and keep her on your side if possible. Each of you should spend some time in the others country to see if you can live there. Decide beforehand which country you will live in and prepare to be flexible. Get married under the laws of your own country or find out the divorce laws in your home country and your spouse's home country are before you marry. If divorce becomes necessary you will have to divorce under the laws of the country where you wed."

Yuriko Yanaga is a clinical psychologist with over 10 years of experience as a counsellor at the Fukuoka International Association (Rainbow Plaza). She explained why she thinks there are so few Western women with Japanese men.

"Western men can go to bars and find lots of Japanese girls who are outgoing, enthusiastic, and willing to speak English. The Western women that I see rarely experience the reverse. Even if a Western girl finds herself in a bar with many Japanese guys, they are much less likely than their female counterparts to strike up a conversation, especially in English.

Japanese men sexually curious

"Western women are often approached by Japanese men who are sexually curious — guys whose ideas about Western women have been influenced by stereotypes in the media. These men often don't expect a long-term relationship."

She gave her advice for a Western woman and a Japanese guy thinking about getting more seriously involved. "Check each other's communication skills and make sure that you are prepared to put in lots of effort. Interracial marriages require both partners not only to learn each other's language, but also to adjust their attitudes and expectations. Love is a great and essential start, but more is needed for a relationship to last."

So, the myths are true. Japanese guys are sometimes reticent and insecure, and Western women are, on occasion, demanding. Take heart in one fact uncovered during this investigation, if a relationship should bloom between a Western woman and a Japanese man, it is more likely to last than if the man were Western and the woman were Japanese.

This could be put down to the fact that there are more obstacles in the way, so if a male Japanese and female Westerner do get together, then there is obviously a strong attraction there. It appears that this kind of relationship is by no means impossible. It just takes a bit of determination, flexibility and, of course, the international ingredient for love — chemistry.

September 13, 2003



Source: http://www.japantoday.com/e/?content=comment&id=466&display=all (long)
 

neko_girl22

先輩
Joined
14 May 2003
Messages
489
Reaction score
9
We talked about that article on MIJ (online group for women married to Japanese men living in Japan). I found the article very disappointing - a lot of tired old stereotypes - also was only based on American statistics which annoyed me.

One comment which I agreed with :
"Interracial marriages require both partners not only to learn each other's language,but also to adjust their attitudes and expectations. Love is a great and essential start,but more is needed for a relationship to last."

Also interesting they mentioned G-women + J-men marriages are more likely to last than J-women+ G-men.....
 

kirei_na_me

Where I'm Supposed to Be
Joined
31 Jan 2003
Messages
4,823
Reaction score
162
I also read that article via MIJ, which I'm not an active member of anymore, and I also thought that it was just putting out the same old stereotypes. I've noticed a lot of the articles on Japan Today can be kind of biased. It seems they are always putting Japanese men down in some way. They(nor many others) never seem to address the good characteristics(and yes, they do have them) Japanese men can posess in comparison with their Western counterparts.

I've always heard that relationships between Western women/Japanese men tend to last longer than marriages between Western men/Japanese women. I won't get into why I think so, though. I think I've already taken that on, and not many people agree...
 

neko_girl22

先輩
Joined
14 May 2003
Messages
489
Reaction score
9
I didn't know you're on MIJ ;) Did you live in Japan at some time? Hopefully getting together with a couple of the ladies in my area - should be fun! I don't post a lot on MIJ, because they mostly talk about children, but it's nice to have contact with other women who know what you're going through. (living in a foreign country etc etc)
 

kirei_na_me

Where I'm Supposed to Be
Joined
31 Jan 2003
Messages
4,823
Reaction score
162
Yeah, I've been a member of MIJ for a couple of years now, I guess? I've never lived in Japan, but at the time I joined, it was the only group I knew of like that except for AFWJ(which I wasn't going to pay to join when they are more focused on those living in Japan). There are several other members of MIJ that are not living in Japan, I believe. Several in the US and in Europe, I know. I just didn't think that group was for me. I couldn't identify with living in Japan, of course, and also, I got tired of a few attitudes... 😊

By the way, in my search for AFWJ just now, this turned up in my search results: http://forum.japantoday.com/Unattractive_foreign_wives%3F/m_10927/p_1/tmode_2/smode_1/tm.htm

I saw where you posted a couple of replies, nzueda. What is up with guys that come to those conclusions? Jealous that we choose Japanese guys over them, I guess, even though they adamantly deny it. I know that you and I are darn attractive(I don't mind saying so), and so are a lot of the other foreign women I know that are married to Japanese guys. Sheesh, these people...
 

neko_girl22

先輩
Joined
14 May 2003
Messages
489
Reaction score
9
urrgh the Japan Today forum is full of gaijin I'm embarrassed to think live in Japan :mad: I didn't read my old posts from your link - I'll probably be embarassed to see what I wrote hehe


Y'know, I'm not sure MIJ is totally for me, but I don't have much choice (I'm not paying for something I don't know if I'll like or not) and at least I have met a couple of ladies from there. (online, haven't met any in person *yet* we're trying to arrange something which should be fun)

You have your own site eh knm? Hope it's going well ;)
 
Top Bottom