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Hana

後輩
15 Apr 2003
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Hi, I'm new to this site, and I don't know which category this is gonna be in, so I'm just posting here.🙂

Well, I'm 20 years old Japanese, and I've been dating an American guy for a year. Actually, we have a long-distance long-term relationship right now. He went back to the US last month. He goes to college there, and I wondered that college other is really that party-out... (he's in So Cali). I've even heard that American guys tend to flirt a lot with random girls. Is it true? Should I worry about it? He is coming back to see me this August, but I probably will see him earlier. My friends made me sooooo insecure about this. Would some of you give me some info???? or I will jump to a conclusion.... god, this drives me nuts! :mad:

Thanks

Hana
 
It depends on what college your boyfriend is going to. Some colleges are know for having more parties than others. The college town I live in has almost no parties going on during the weekend.

American guys flirt with girls like guys from any other country. Wheater it is just harmless flirting and him cheating on you depends on what kind of person he is.

I hope this helps you some.

Good luck with your boyfriend
 
hmm

It depends on the person,
that's why I worry about moving there. It's easy for me to be faithful in America, IMO.

http://www.cnn.com/2000/HEALTH/mayo/10/05/obesity.america/

But over there, the language barrier and average cuteness is a problem for me, constant temptation...
if he was faithful there, I think he would be faithful ANYWHERE -- that is my opinion
incidentally, your English is excellent! Keep up the good work! I hope my Japanese will be as good one day... benkyou benkyou benkyou!
 
Well, though I have a dislike for us, I don't think that, for that matter, American guys are different from those of other countries. I believe that parties are important in college to get to know people and relax from work and whatever.

And at parties there are girls. And some cute girls as well. Some are nice and friendly too, and most are intelligent because otherwise, they shouldn't be in college.

So it just depends on him and you and your relationship with him. How much he loves you, how you treat each other, how you have contact and how often and how much and the way you both think about your relationship anyway. Since no one of us except you know all, we can only guess what the situation is like.
 
How's his family feel?

Sometimes knowing how his family feels about him having a Japanese woman for a possible future wife can help you tell if he is serious. When I left my girlfriend in Japan, no other woman could interest me. Every waking moment was spent thinking about getting back togeather again. Worrying won't do you any good. Just think about the future working out great and wait and see what happens.
 
I don't think you should let your friends make you feel so bad. Guys are the same all over the world, and if he has an intention to cheat on you, he'll do that no matter if you're there or not. Try to remain calm and positive. Maybe you should talk to him about your insecurities, because he's the only one who can tell you what you want to hear.
Good luck! :)
 
he'll do that no matter if you're there or not
though its easier to cheat in a long-distance relationship than when your partner lives next door. I mean, in the first type, you just have to lie at times on the phone, and when you stop the call, you can ignore the whole thing. In reality, there are the "look into my eyes and tell me the truth" and whatever things, the way you behave, etc.
 
I think you should forget about him and date a Japanese boy instead.
 
Originally posted by Gaki
I think you should forget about him and date a Japanese boy instead.

I've heard that some Japanese girls chooses foreign guys instead of Japanese guys,because they think the J guys are not too nice to them,like the J guys would shout at them or something??
and some of them thinks J guys are boring??

I am interested to know about this
 
Many of the comments seem to focus too much on generic blanket statements rather than the individual. J guys grew up with different set of customs and backgrounds (also depending upon where, as in which prefecture or city/countryside they grew up) from their foreign counterparts. As there will be some ugly foreigners, there will be some ugly J-guys (as far as behavior is concerned)...

think about this: in your hometown, city, village or whatever, where do you stand amongst your peers? Are you the humble person or the extroverted tarento wannabe that wants to dye their hair blonde with blue contacts just so they can look amerikan and use good engrish? Do you stay at home/office typing away at forum blogs like this, or do you actually go out and see for yourself what the world is really like? All a matter of personal perception...no two is exactly alike.....
 
Hmm, so far, in these forums, there's been topics on Jgirls and now American guys. Well, what about the jguys?? *hint* *hint*

:D
 
We tend to lump other people into a catergory and believe all of them are like that. Like J-guys. A lot of people have negative view of them. I know there are some nasty ones out there(like everywhere) and Japan does have a history of what the western world would call.... "sexism" (30 years ago it was still considered "rude" for a J-man to enter the kitchen!)

I am lucky enough to know really great J-men and am married to a sweety 😍 But, perhaps that's because we are christians and live by the international principles in the Bible.....

I know many happily married J-couples where they work as a team and the husband helps out around the house. Maybe even more than the kiwi guys I know who sit on their butt all weekend watching rugby :p

Anyway, I have had really great experiences and I believe we shouldn't judge a race by a bad experience we might've had with an individual.
 
bahahahaha! i think we are all late to the party -- my bad
is that date correct? she (or he) may have gotten mad -- because no one answered the question and just left... hmm
 
If he travels all the way to japan to see you. you mean a lot to him, and I'd bet he's not cheating, partying, but not cheating, he spends ALOT of money to see you and he's not gonna do that for nothing. But it depends on the guy, chances are he's not
 
"japanese girls chooses foreign guys instead of japanese guys, because they think the J guys are not to nice to them, like the J guys would shout at them or something??"

honestly i don't know where you think that could be just jguys. I'm mean both my step dad and my father were abusive and one was american and the other german. it doesn't matter what nationality we are, if they want to yell they will yell. i myself am an american female and have fallen in love with a chinese man myself although that is another story and yeah my dad nearly killed me when he found out so my guy left saying that he didn't want to become between me and my dad....ah what the heck am i talking about this for? Just lets not be racist ok?
 
saying that i have seen comments in bios/bbs written by japanese women that say something to that effect... but i agree -- bad people come in all shapes, sizes, and races.
but i'm still checking out beyonce's and brittany's mommas
 
Originally posted by yoake
"japanese girls chooses foreign guys instead of japanese guys, because they think the J guys are not to nice to them, like the J guys would shout at them or something??"

honestly i don't know where you think that could be just jguys. I'm mean both my step dad and my father were abusive and one was american and the other german. it doesn't matter what nationality we are, if they want to yell they will yell. i myself am an american female and have fallen in love with a chinese man myself although that is another story and yeah my dad nearly killed me when he found out so my guy left saying that he didn't want to become between me and my dad....ah what the heck am i talking about this for? Just lets not be racist ok?

nono I am not racist,
that is just something I've heard from Japanese females

it is funny somehow..
some parents don't like their children together with a person from a certain race.....
I've heard stories about some Chineseand Japanese couples,their parents are against it...
I just really don't like this,don't be so close-minded....
 
For the girl who is not sure about the man she likes and thinks he is cheating or may be cheating.......... Are you single now....... Bha ha ha ha ha ha ha..... J/k

If you really trust him then I guess you have no choice until you can determine that he is the one that likes you too much to even think of doing something stupid.

College is fun only when you have time to spend having fun and not studying (Man I sound like my DAD........ Ah ****!)

No but seriously I don't think it's easy to tell if a person (American or Whom ever) will be able to do something they would regret because they are committed to someone. Does he call you every week? When is he coming back?


Hope this helps.... \Call me.... Bha hahahahaha......... j/k 👏
 
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