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Addressing family members

Secret4Now

Registered
9 Oct 2015
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How would one address family members politely?

Let us say members of the Sakamoto family are in the room: Tomoki (Grandfather), Myoko (Grandmother), Hiromi (daughter), and Yuri (granddaughter). Let us say that I wish to greet each one in turn. I am confused about the family name - first name - honorific arrangement.

Would I say "Konnichiwa Sakamoto Tomoki-san. Konnichiwa Sakamoto Myoko-san. Konnichiwa Sakamoto Hiromi-san ..." Like that? Addressing each in turn with full name in order of seniority?
 
Address the grandchild by name plus "san" or "chan" and, due to the presence of the grandchild, address the adults as "ojiisan" and "obaasan". (Substitute "chan" or "sama" depending on circumstances). Alternately, family name for the grandfather and "obaasan" (and above caveats) for the grandmother.

Different if the kid isn't there.
 
Address the grandchild by name plus "san" or "chan" and, due to the presence of the grandchild, address the adults as "ojiisan" and "obaasan". (Substitute "chan" or "sama" depending on circumstances). Alternately, family name for the grandfather and "obaasan" (and above caveats) for the grandmother.

Different if the kid isn't there.

Sorry - I am confused. We have two sets of adults: one set of grandparents, one set of parents.

So for grandmother and father I don't use their given names, don't use their family names, refer to them as "ojiisan" and "obaasan".
Or, alternately, I DO use the family name for the grandfather only: "Sakamoto-san" and stay with "Obaasan" for grandmother.

For children (they are in teens and 20's, actually) use their given name (not family name) plus "san".

And for the mother and father? They are in their fifties.
 
In that case, you can't use Sakamoto-san. It can refer to all adult members. Ojiisan, Obaasan, Otousan, Okaasan, "the name of the granddaughter"-san is the most common, especially when the granddaughter is your acquaintance.

Is there any typo in Myoko, by the way? Isn't it Miyoko?
 
In general, use terms of address from the viewpoint of the youngest member of the family or at least the youngest one present at the time.

There is no universal one-size-fits-all answer to your question. It depends on which one of them you know, how close you are, ages, social status, etc.
 
And it also might depend on how well you know them. I'm guessing this will be the first time? Being overly polite (and NOT using their first names) is a safe way to do things. Later, you can tone it down a bit, but just a little.

When I met my wife's grandparents, I called them Family name-san, BOTH of them. Before I got married, it was always family name-san for her parents, too. Then, after I was married, I switched to okaasan and ojiisan. I have always called her brother by his first name. Considering I'm 15 years older than him, I have that "right". As for aunts and uncles, and she has a lot, it's harder to remember names, but I manage the family name-san most of the time. Personally, I don't think the aunts would mind if I called them first name-san.
 
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