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About a Tokyo Girl

Harry Rosen

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Hello, Everyone, I'm soooooo worrying, hope you can give me some good advice ! thx
Background:
I'm currently in Japan west. And last year I knew a girl who is cute, quiet but not very pretty(just normal), when i was attending an English party in Tokyo. She was in a relationship with a guy "Bob" (dummy name) at that time. After several weeks , She asked me how to do ,coz she found "Bob is not suitable for her" . She told me that She accepted BOB coz she does not know how to refuse others. Finally,They broke up as expected . She has been single since she broke up with BOB. We don't chat very often , just once a month or less.

Begin:
few weeks ago , She told me she wanna visit my city (West JP)and nearby cities also. She said that She doesn't mind share one hotel room with me(I'm a guy).

Here is my question:
1) Is that common in Japan that girl doesn't mind sharing room when travelling ?
2)Does that have some deeper meanings ?(Coz JP girls are reserve) or I just think too much ?
 

Harry Rosen

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Can anybody help me with these questions ?
I really have no idea about Japanese girls.
Thanks in advance.
 

Hope&Faith

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Sorry... I missed your point.
But... If you really like her and have connections, don't think too much and stay together!
That's our biggest issue! We think too much!
Take her in your home/room/hotel. And if everything will work out... Congrats! You got a nice JP girlfriend!

:D
 

Mike Cash

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Can anybody help me with these questions ?
I really have no idea about Japanese girls.
Thanks in advance.
Your English improved remarkably between your first and second posts.

Sounds to me like she is just gaijin boyfriend hunting and working her way down a list and you were next. I would be leery of her.
 

Harry Rosen

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Your English improved remarkably between your first and second posts.

Sounds to me like she is just gaijin boyfriend hunting and working her way down a list and you were next. I would be leery of her.
BOB is Japanese BTW .
When a girl and a guy go travelling ,would girl mind sharing hotel ?
I think for other countries, girl might mind staying in same room with a guy.
 

Harry Rosen

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Sorry... I missed your point.
But... If you really like her and have connections, don't think too much and stay together!
That's our biggest issue! We think too much!
Take her in your home/room/hotel. And if everything will work out... Congrats! You got a nice JP girlfriend!

:D
Thanks man,
actually I am just wandering , is it normal that JP girl shares room with a guy, what I know about JP girl is they reserved, traditional , and have a clear boarder between girls and guys.
 

WonkoTheSane

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Thanks man,
actually I am just wandering , is it normal that JP girl shares room with a guy, what I know about JP girl is they reserved, traditional , and have a clear boarder between girls and guys.
Strangely, Japanese girls are all types of girls. It's almost like they're regular girls who happened to be born in Japan.
 

Seiko

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Oh, i love answering relationships question. I'll tell you how it is...1st, get over it, it won't work between you two, 2nd, you two live to far apart, 3rd just because she left a guy, does not mean she left him for you, 4th, you two don't even talk like that and finally 5th, its not you, its a culture thing.

but my personal opinion, dude was Japanese and most likely she looking to date another Japanese dude. Your the fall back guy for now until she hook up with another Japanese dude.
 
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Harry Rosen

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Oh, i love answering relationships question. I'll tell you how it is...1st, get over it, it won't work between you two, 2nd, you two live to far apart, 3rd just because she left a guy, does not mean she left him for you, 4th, you two don't even talk like that and finally 5th, its not you, its a culture thing.

but my personal opinion, dude was Japanese and most likely she looking to date another Japanese dude. Your the fall back guy for now until she hook up with another Japanese dude.
U got it man, u mean that I am in her backup list ,right ?
BUT u remind me , I forgot to mention that she used to have a Chinese bf , but not lasting very long.
 

Harry Rosen

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Sry, forgot to mention, she used to have a Chinese BF, and I did remember she told me before, nationality is not a big deal .
 

cocoichi

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Here is my question:
1) Is that common in Japan that girl doesn't mind sharing room when travelling ?
2)Does that have some deeper meanings ?(Coz JP girls are reserve) or I just think too much ?
1. Depends on how well you know her, and her personality. It's quite common to hare a room, but usually it involves more than just two people. It could mean she is open to whatever, but it might also mean you are so deep in the friend zone, that she can't even think of any unwanted scenarios.

2. Just my personal experience, but I've seen several (or rather heard) Japanese girls go all out in mixed dorm rooms on different occasions when I was traveling. Maybe because they are free from their everyday life and family/friends.

Then again, I've also seen Japanese girls travel with a foreign guy who would absolutely be nothing more than just a friend.

Bottom line, if you like to travel, let that be the main reason and just find out what her intentions are at night. Up to you how to respond.
 

Seiko

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Since nationality is not a big deal than Yes you might be her backup guy or "He Just My Friend" when she introduce you to her friends. If and when you two meet up for your thing, let things play out and let her make the moves.

I agree with cocoichi last statement
 
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How many prior boyfriends has she had? She may be something of a playgirl.

I would assume that any room-sharing arrangements come with strings attached, unless she made it clear otherwise. If she suggests sharing rooms and doesn't recognize the obvious implications, she's an idiot. If she intends to wait until you make a pass, and then shut you down, she's just a tease.
 

Harry Rosen

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How many prior boyfriends has she had? She may be something of a playgirl.

I would assume that any room-sharing arrangements come with strings attached, unless she made it clear otherwise. If she suggests sharing rooms and doesn't recognize the obvious implications, she's an *****. If she intends to wait until you make a pass, and then shut you down, she's just a tease.
She didn't suggest , TBH I asked her "do you mind sharing room ?"
and she replied " I don't mind " . then before I booked the hotel ,I sent the room to her just for double check , she still said 'no problem'
BTW she's studying in women university in tokyo.
I didn't ask how many ex-boyfrinds she had. If she is playgirl , she can lie she had fewer ex
 

nice gaijin

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How many beds does the room have? If you sent her booking info for a room with a single queen bed, that might've been more telling. Sharing a room and sharing a sleeping surface are two different things...
 

Harry Rosen

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How many beds does the room have? If you sent her booking info for a room with a single queen bed, that might've been more telling. Sharing a room and sharing a sleeping surface are two different things...
Sorry, It is two single beds room . Do u have any good suggestions ?
 

Glenski

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No, it is not normal for Japanese women to make that request.

She is not after "Bob". She is after "Dick". Steer clear, or jump in the sack and make your way to the nearest clinic to get checked out. Watch your back after that. Even Japanese stalk.
 

Seiko

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a lot of people bring up a lot of interesting point. best thing to do is be cool and let it play out. I would recommend letting her make the moves but some women want the guy to make the first move. Read her body language, but like some say, she may be a tease/flirt
 

Harry Rosen

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thanks u guys a lot of helpful points. I still need to know more about how's relationship going between Japanese people.
 

Glenski

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Harry, what do you want us as armchair psychologists to say? I doubt you could make similar remarks about people in your own country that would satisfy people.
 

Mike Cash

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thanks u guys a lot of helpful points. I still need to know more about how's relationship going between Japanese people.
Totally irrelevant to your situation.

If you want to try to bang her, then try to bang her. I can't imagine she's coming there not expecting to get banged or for you to at least try.

Wear a condom and pull out anyway, just in case.
 

cocoichi

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Your way might work, but it's also quite risky. You kind of already put her on the spot to show intentions

It would have been better if you had seperate rooms. Just travel together, see how things go, and after you guys had a few drinks at the (hotel)bar, you can ask: wanna watch some tv/drink some more/relax upstairs in my room. You'll both know what it means, but you'd give her the chance to subtly decline. Your current situation might lead to awkward situations if one of you guys have different expectations.
 
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