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Would someone please correct my sentences?

hirashin

Sempai
Donor
8 Apr 2004
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Dear native English speakers,
would someone please correct my sentences if needed?

1
① Martin claims that he is not responsible for the car accident.
② They claimed that the new law would hurt their business. (law = 法律)
③ Lack of sleep often leads to an accident. (lack =不足)
④ My sister decided to go to university in Britain. (university =[総合]大学)
⑤ She tried to be a professional pianist, but she couldn't. (professional = プロの)
⑥ When I opened the window, I found a lot of snow lying on the ground. (ground =地面)

2
① Many children were drawing pictures everywhere in the park.
② The shopkeeper/storekeeper claimed that this construction would hurt/damage his business.
③ My uncle returned from China three years ago.
④ Some of them decided to move to Okinawa.
⑤ I found this book interesting.

Thanks in advance.

Hirashin
 
They all look good to me.
For 2-4, I would probably say Many children were drawing pictures all over the park. But I think your version is grammatical.
 
Thank you for the help, mdchachi. I'll change 2-1 into
"Many children were drawing pictures everywhere." deleting "in the park".
Would that be ok?

.
 
Thank you for the help, mdchachi. I'll change 2-1 into
"Many children were drawing pictures everywhere." deleting "in the park".
Would that be ok?.
I suppose so. What are you trying to say? おおぜいの子どもがどこでも描いていた。?
 
たくさんの子ども達があちこちで絵を描いていた。

I think あちこちで can be translated into "everywhere".

I want my students to learn the word "everywhere".
 
If so, you can use that.

However everywhere I think is more ubiqutous than あちこち.
For example, I could say, There were deer everywhere in Nara Park.
If you say There were kids drawing pictures everywhere in Nara Park then i imagine there are really many, many kids.

Also, now that I'm thinking about it, saying there are "Many...everywhere" sounds a little unnatural. If you are saying something is everywhere then of course there are many of them.
For example, I wouldn't say Many birds were flying everywhere. I'd say Birds were flying everywhere or It seemed like birds were flying everywhere.
 
Oh, I see. Thanks for the information.

How about these? Would they still sound unnatural?
(a) Children were drawing pictures everywhere in the park.
(b) There were children drawing pictures everywhere in the park.
(c) I found that children were drawing pictures everywhere in the park.
(d) I found there were children drawing pictures everywhere in the park.
 
Oh, I see. Thanks for the information.

How about these? Would they still sound unnatural?
(a) Children were drawing pictures everywhere in the park.
(b) There were children drawing pictures everywhere in the park.
(c) I found that children were drawing pictures everywhere in the park.
(d) I found there were children drawing pictures everywhere in the park.
I think these are all ok.
 
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