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Please check my sentences (Lesson 1 Part 1-2)

hirashin

Sempai
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8 Apr 2004
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Dear native English speakers,
would you check my sentences?
①My father has a good view of the United States.

②He sees it as a highly developed country with a high level of technology.

③I feel safe and comfortable only when I'm here.

④They have high levels of communication skills in English. (skill =技術, 技能)

⑤This survey was carried out all over Japan more than ten years ago. (all over ~ =~じゅう )

⑥The survey that the BBC carried out asks which politician in the world have a negative
influence on the rest of the world. (politician = 政治家 negative =否定的な,よくない)

⑦We haven't found any creatures outside the Earth so far. (creature =生物 so far =これまで)

⑧I've shared this room with my friend Mary since last year.

⑨In the survey carried out in 2010, Canada shared the number one place with Germany.

⑩In the survey of life expectancy, Japan is always at the top.

⑪NHK, the biggest broadcaster in Japan, carried out this survey last week.

⑫I live on Honshu, the main island of Japan.


Thanks in advance.
Hirashin
 
①My father has a good view of the United States.

You'd only get a good view of the US if you were at a very high altitude!
My father has a positive view of the United States.

③I feel safe and comfortable only when I'm here.
I prefer moving the 'only' to earlier in the sentence.
I only feel safe...

④They have high levels of communication skills in English. (skill =技術, 技能)
I prefer 'excellent' to 'high levels of'

⑥The survey that the BBC carried out asks which politician in the world have a negative
influence on the rest of the world. (politician = 政治家 negative =否定的な,よくない)

...asked which politicians...

⑨In the survey carried out in 2010, Canada shared the number one place with Germany.
Second half a bit awkward. "Canada came joint first with Germany" better.

⑩In the survey of life expectancy, Japan is always at the top.
In surveys of...

[/QUOTE]
 
Thanks, Lothor.
What do you think of this passage? It's from our textbook. Is it written in natural English?

In October 2009, an interesting article appeared in the British magazine The Economist. It was about a survey carried out in 33 countries around the world. The survey asked people how much they admired, trusted, respected, and took pride in their own country. Australia came top, China was 7th, while America was 11th.
At the bottom of the list was Japan.The Japanese people who answered seem to have had a low opinion of their own country. However, many people outside Japan had a better view of the country. They saw it as a safe place with a high level of education and first-class service, for example. Every year, the BBC, Britain's main broadcaster, also carries out a survey of people's opinions. The survey asks what countries have a positive influence on the rest of the world. Japan is always at or near the top. It shared the number one spot with Canada in 2007 and the number one spot with Germany in 2008.

③I feel safe and comfortable only when I'm here.
I prefer moving the 'only' to earlier in the sentence.
I only feel safe...

Wouldn't that change its meaning?

④They have high levels of communication skills in English. (skill =技術, 技能)
I prefer 'excellent' to 'high levels of'

Oh, is that so... Don't you ever use the phrase "high level"?

⑥The survey that the BBC carried out asks which politician in the world have a negative
influence on the rest of the world. (politician = 政治家 negative =否定的な,よくない)

...asked which politicians...

Yes. that was my mistake.

⑨In the survey carried out in 2010, Canada shared the number one place with Germany.
Second half a bit awkward. "Canada came joint first with Germany" better.

Is it that you don't say "share the number one spot/place with someone else"?
How about "Canada shared the top with Germany"?

⑩In the survey of life expectancy, Japan is always at the top.
In surveys of...

Ahhh, yes. That's right.

Do you think the rest is fine?
 
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Hi Hirashin,

The passage was fine and sounded natural to me.

The 'only when I'm here' sentence - I suppose it theoretically could change the meaning to 'the only emotions I have when I'm here are safety and comfort and no other emotions' but in practice, I think people would say 'I always feel safe and comfortable when I'm here' in such a situation.

People do use 'high level' but to me 'high levels of communication skills in English' sounds a bit wordy. Your sentence is not wrong though.

Shared the number one spot - actually it sounded fine in the article, maybe because of the rather chatty style of the article. I prefer 'shared the number one spot' to 'shared the top'.
 
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