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Help with meeting apology

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hi guys, i was wondering if the following non attendance apology is ok. I was the coordinator of a planned casual meeting next week however because of work commitments I am probably now unable to attend.the meeting is still going ahead. this is my first attempt at an apology so all help greatly appreciated.

みなさんこんにちは、
申し訳ない.残念ながら仕事しなければいけないから、私は来週の会議に出席できません。会議がまだ続きているだから来てください。
 

Mike Cash

骨も命も皆此の土地に埋めよう
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hi guys, i was wondering if the following non attendance apology is ok. I was the coordinator of a planned casual meeting next week however because of work commitments I am probably now unable to attend.the meeting is still going ahead. this is my first attempt at an apology so all help greatly appreciated.

みなさんこんにちは、
申し訳ない.残念ながら仕事しなければいけないから、私は来週の会議に出席できません。会議がまだ続きているだから来てください。
Avoid mixing casual and polite forms. The -te form of 続く is 続いて, not 続きて, but the verb is inappropriate here as it sounds like the meeting is still currently underway at the moment you're writing this. Try 予定通り開かれます instead and use は instead of が.

A couple of extremely useful vocabulary items are 都合 and 事情. Try a phrase like 仕事の都合により or 仕事の事情で for the reason bit and perhaps use 欠席となります instead of 出席出来ません

こんにちは isn't really something I would expect to see in such a note. There are several things it could be replaced with, depending on the nature of the group. I would leave it out.

I'd probably use 誠に勝手ながら instead of 残念ながら here for the excuse bit. 誠に勝手ながら、仕事の都合で欠席....

You can hardly ever go wrong in a Japanese note by working in the word 迷惑 somewhere. ご迷惑をかけて申し訳ありません and wrap up with a good old よろしくお願いします

Get those last two applications of social skid grease in there no matter what else you do in the note.
 
Joined
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Good deal. By then somebody who actually knows what they're talking about may come along and actually give you something useful instead.
Hey Mikesan,
Thanks for your advice. How is this?

皆さん、
ご迷惑をかけて申し訳ありませんけど仕事の都合により,私は来週の会議に欠席となります.
会議は予定通り開かれますだから来てください。
よろしくお願いします
 

undrentide

Japa'n vagyok
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It looks fine - just some minor corrections.

皆さん、
ご迷惑をかけて申し訳ありません仕事の都合により,私は来週の会議欠席ます.
会議は予定通り開かれますので来てください。
よろしくお願いします。

If you want to make it sound a bit politer, you can say
会議は予定通り開かれますのでいらしてください。
(But if it is something casual, I believe 来てください is just fine!)
 
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