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Can you correct my translations?

scp

Kouhai
Joined
Mar 11, 2017
Messages
5
I hope this post will be by the rules. I'm learning Japanese as a hobby, since I like anime and manga, and my fun way of learning it is to take raw manga, than try to translate it, than look up the official translation to see if I'm right. It may not be the best way to learn it, but I'm enjoining it.

So, I have 2 pages of manga that I need help with translation. I don't know if I'm allowed to post the images here, the volume has been released in Japan 2 days ago, but since these pages are actually just fake spoilers for the next volume, they won't get an official English translation anytime soon.

This is a text that is on top of the page: 次巻より急展開
Translation: I know the first 2 kanji basically mean "next volume", and the last three something like "sudden development", but I'm still lost to how to translate it correctly.


Description of a certain character:
普通の歴史教師だが
普通の人が笑わない所で
笑ったりする

Translation: An ordinary history teacher, but laughs at things which ordinary people don't find funny.

Description of a certain character:
過去は闇社会の大物だった
と噂されているため
数人を除く学校中の全員から
恐れられて

Translation: There's a rumor saying he used to be a big figure in the underground world. He is feared by everyone in the school, except for a few people.

Description of a certain character:
好奇心を満たすためなら
法を犯しがち

Translation: Tends to break the rules, in order to satisfy curiosity. (The problem here is that the gender of the character is unknown, so it can't be said "His/her curiosity")

Character E sees that character A is being bullied:
E: それ楽しいか?
Bully:
? 誰だお前
Translation:
E: Are you enjoying that?
Bully: Huh? Who are you?


Character E is fighting a bully (has a ripped shirt):
E: やぶけちゃっただろうが!!
Bully: てめえ! その面覚えたからな
Translation:
E: You ripped my shirt!!
Bully: You! I’ll remember your face! (This one got me confused since 覚えた is the past time, but "I remembered your face" makes no sense to me since it's the first time they met)


After a fight, the person that was bullied (character A), and the person that was hiding from the bully because the bully likes her (character M), approach to character E:
A:
ありがとう! [キック アス]みたいにクールだったよ
M: いいえあなたはきっと私の呪い

私があの男を撃退するために遣わした闇の騎士
E: ?
Translation:
A: The character is thanking the other guy for fighting his bully, but I don't know how to translate the second part of the sentence.
M: No, you must be my spell. You are the dark knight that I summoned in order to repel that guy.
E: What?



Text: ひとことをきっかけに日常は動き出す
Translation: Everyday starts to move with a few words. (This one is too hard for me, and that was the best I could come up with.)


Text:
単行本第232017年8月9日()発売予定!
Translation:
Tankobon volume 23 is scheduled to be released on Wednesday, August 9th, 2017!


Sorry if this post is too long,I've read the rules, but I'm still unsure if this is buy the rules, since I didn't find anything similar from other people.

Also, since sometimes even the official translations of the chapters can make small mistakes, am I allowed to post an image of the page, if I want to check the translations of a certain sentence, or an explanation of why it's translated like that?
 
Joined
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Messages
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次巻より急展開
Translation: I know the first 2 kanji basically mean "next volume", and the last three something like "sudden development", but I'm still lost to how to translate it correctly.
lit: 'from the next volume onward, there are rapid developments'
-> more natural -> 'rapid developments starting next episode!'
It's just boilerplate hype though, and as such in natural translation can be replaced with 'Don't miss the exciting things coming in the next episode!' or something.

Description of a certain character:
普通の歴史教師だが
普通の人が笑わない所で
笑ったりする

Translation: An ordinary history teacher, but laughs at things which ordinary people don't find funny.
The English should be '...but he laughs at things...' ; the Japanese can omit the subject here, but the English requires it.
(Technically it should be 'He is an ordinary history teacher, ...' but I'm assuming it's a caption or a definition after a name so that rule can be broken in that case.)

The たり form implies 'among other things', so you could say 'but he does things like laughing at things which ordinary people don't find funny'. Or for brevity you drop that and translate it as you did, that's fine too.




Description of a certain character:
過去は闇社会の大物だった
と噂されているため
数人を除く学校中の全員から
恐れられて

Translation: There's a rumor saying he used to be a big figure in the underground world. He is feared by everyone in the school, except for a few people.
「噂されているため」 -> People fear him because of the rumors.


Description of a certain character:
好奇心を満たすためなら
法を犯しがち

Translation: Tends to break the rules, in order to satisfy curiosity. (The problem here is that the gender of the character is unknown, so it can't be said "His/her curiosity")
As above, if it's a caption to a picture or following name+':' or some other reason to treat it as a definition, you can get away with not specifying the subject. Unlike the history teacher, the second clause here is a dependent clause, not an independent one, so you can keep getting away with it for the whole sentence.

Character E sees that character A is being bullied:
E: それ楽しいか?
Bully:
? 誰だお前
Translation:
E: Are you enjoying that?
Bully: Huh? Who are you?
Yes.

Character E is fighting a bully (has a ripped shirt):
E: やぶけちゃっただろうが!!
Bully: てめえ! その面覚えたからな
Translation:
E: You ripped my shirt!!
Bully: You! I’ll remember your face! (This one got me confused since 覚えた is the past time, but "I remembered your face" makes no sense to me since it's the first time they met)
The meaning is 'I have learned that face' or 'I have memorized that face', something like that, but you wouldn't want to use that kind of literal interpretation in a translation. Your translation is fine.

After a fight, the person that was bullied (character A), and the person that was hiding from the bully because the bully likes her (character M), approach to character E:
A:
ありがとう! [キック アス]みたいにクールだったよ

"Thank you! You were cool like 'Kick ***'"
(I'm going to assume here that some tough guy in this world is nicknamed 'Kick ***'. Otherwise it's some very odd mixing of English and Japanese in an attempt to sound cool.)

M: いいえあなたはきっと私の呪い
私があの男を撃退するために遣わした闇の騎士



呪い is usually a curse, not a neutral or benevolent 'spell'. As a metaphor it's certainly a curse, but it may be literal magic here, being a manga and all. As literal magic, 'curse' or 'spell' is a flavor decision.

遣わす means 'to dispatch, to send', not 'to summon'.

Maybe 'No, you are certainly my curse, the Knight of Darkness that I sent to repel that man.'

You would normally expect a Knight of Darkness brought to the scene by magic to have been summoned (召喚する) not sent (遣わす) but who knows how this 'curse' works or when and where it was cast. You would also expect E-さん to know if he had been sent. Maybe it makes sense later.

?
E: What?
Yes.

Text: ひとことをきっかけに日常は動き出す
Translation: Everyday starts to move with a few words. (This one is too hard for me, and that was the best I could come up with.)

"The days events begin with a word"
Maybe. 日常 often means the course of actions/events in one's ordinary day. ひとこと is probably best as 'a word' in a poetic abstraction like this.


Text:
単行本第232017年8月9日()発売予定!
Translation:
Tankobon volume 23 is scheduled to be released on Wednesday, August 9th, 2017!

Yes.
 

scp

Kouhai
Joined
Mar 11, 2017
Messages
5
Thanks a lot, that was amazing!

"Thank you! You were cool like 'Kick ***'"
(I'm going to assume here that some tough guy in this world is nicknamed 'Kick ***'. Otherwise it's some very odd mixing of English and Japanese in an attempt to sound cool.)
Yes, the character that said that reads a lot of manga, so he probably compared him with his favorite manga hero.

This forum is awesome, thanks a lot again!
 
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